Shiva quotes from The League

Andre

You know, you're the only one here that can actually help me out. You know I have two balls. Just get the word out.

Shiva

Why would I do that? I'm telling everyone that I did the reconstructive surgery. I have three new clients.

Andre

Well, I'm glad I could help. We're even now. Are we even?

Shiva

Oh, oh yeah. This...this makes us even.

Shiva

[to Pete] Stu didn't have sex in your mom's car. Kevin did.

Pete

What?!

Andre

[offering a high-five] Oh, yeah!

Pete

I'm sorry, how do you know this?

Shiva

Because it was with me.

Andre

[taking it back] Oh, no. What? What?

Pete

Why don't they put these things in the reunion books?

Shiva

Kevin lost his virginity to me in your mom's car.

Pete

I'm sorry, can I get some more details?

Kevin

No, no. Good.

Shiva

He was so excited that when he came, he kicked through the window and then he yelled my name. "SHIVAKAMINI SOMAKANDARKRAM!!!" It was funny actually.

Andre

So the first Shiva Blast was your vinegar strokes.

Kevin

All right, Eskimo brother.

Shiva

This league is a pain in my ass. I didn't ask to be a part of it, and I want out.

Jenny

But you're the Shiva.

Shiva

That's right, I am the Shiva. Totally. And the Shiva is angry. This league does not have the Shiva's blessing. This year will go badly for everyone. The Shiva has spoken.