Rafi quotes from The League

Rafi

I am day drunk, get ready to see my dick.

Rafi

So lots of people didn’t go to college! You don’t have to constantly throw it in my face!

Rafi

[after getting "killed" in paintball] GATTACA!

Rafi

Thanks for the car, assholes. Eat my dick! [Peels off in the Shivamobile with the Shiva in the back] I'm gonna blast this trophy in the butt!

Rafi

This girl's kosher! That means I got to put my meat in one hole, and my milk in the other!

Andre

You know nothing about fantasy football.

Rafi

Sure, I do. I just don't understand why you won't let me draft the players I want to play. It's fantasy football, so the Hulk should be able to be on the team.

Rafi

Do you still have those butt plugs with Bert and Ernie's face on them?

Kevin

Those are my daughter's tubby toys.

Rafi

She should not play with those. Those should be burned.

Kevin

I have got to win the Shiva, because if I don't win the Shiva, then I don't win the bet!

Jenny

Hey, babe. You won the bet.

Kevin

Huh?

Jenny

I'm pregnant.

Kevin

Wait, just because I won?

Jenny

No, I found out a couple days ago.

Kevin

We're gonna have another baby?

Jenny

Yeah.

Rafi

Are you sure it's not my baby? I did jerk off in your underwear drawer.

Rafi

I don't respect you, okay?

Perfect. I don't respect myself.

Rafi

What?! Okay, fine. Truth be told, there's another girl here.

Awesome.

Rafi

You're into that?!

How do you think I got through nursing school?

Rafi

You know what? You gotta go.

I'm not going.

Rafi

Just pack it up!

I am here...

Rafi

I don't find you attractive!

I don't care!

Rafi

I think your face is gross, I think your boobs are different sizes, and I think [points to crotch] this is way too big!

All right, you are getting me so hot right now.

Rafi

What?!

Yes! Treat me like shit.

Rafi

This is Sofia, the light of my life.

Yeah, right.

Rafi

She's the most beautiful woman in the world.

Sofia

Aw...

Rafi

I love you so much.

Sofia

I love you so much.

Bullshit.

Rafi

Bullshit? Fine.

Ruxin

[sick] Sofia Ruxin forever unclean.

Rafi

I love you.

Sofia

I love you.

All right, you know what? I don't have to take this. You really messed this up. You could've had sex with the most pathetic, insecure, desperate woman you've ever met. I would have let you put me in a cage!

Rafi

I have a cage!

Have fun in your cage alone!

Rafi

[as she leaves] Later, Gail.

Sofia

What was that all about?

Rafi

Oh, I was just messing around. But by the way, great kiss.

Sofia

Really?

Rafi

[to Ruxin] I hope you're getting a lot of this, man because this is some terrific kissing right here my sister does.

Sofia

I'm a good kisser.

Ruxin

Ugh! No!

Rafi

I mean, you're such a good kisser, you got my dick hard, and I'm your brother.

Sofia

Oh, come on, I didn't make you hard.

Rafi

You can check. You can check.