A lie is a lie, which is a sin, which sends ya straight to hell. Who told a lie?
Oh, who hasn't?
Me. I never lie.
Ma, how much did you lose at the dog track last week?
None of your business, and that's the truth!
S1 E16The Truth Will Out (a.k.a.) The Will
[interrupting Rose's conversation with Charley] Are you two coming? The spaghetti is getting cold!
We'll be there in a minute, Sophia. We're in the middle of a makeup lesson.
I hope the kid can help ya. You wear more rouge than Miss Piggy.
S1 E17Nice and Easy
Let me get a look at you, girl! Terrific little figure, gorgeous hair, perfect skin! Just like looking in the mirror.
Get some Windex!
[telling a story that is supposed to relate to Blanche's problem with Lucy, about a time she snuck into a nearby city to meet a boy she liked at a gin mill] I marched right up to the door, and I ran right into Reverend McKenzie, coming out of the bar on the arm of Millie Beasley, wife of Emmett Beasley, our town's most decorated war hero. Emmett received three Purple Hearts - all for head wounds. He ran the feed store in our town. Of course, if the truth be known, Millie was the one who had to make change for the customers.
Rose, are you telling a story or performing Our Town?
Oh, sorry. Anyway, Reverend McKenzie made a deal with me. He said if I didn't tell on him, he wouldn't tell on me. So I went home.
Well, did he keep your secret?
Till the day he died - which was two days later. Emmett found Millie and the reverend skinny-dipping in the church's fountain, and shot the both of them. A week later, we became Lutherans.
Rose, that isn't a teenage rebellion story. That is a changing religion story. That is a big "WHO CARES?" story. THAT IS A "WHY THE HELL TELL IT IN THE FIRST PLACE" STORY!!!
EEd
Rose, you're just incredible on Miami Vice trivia! I've never met anyone so smart!
Ed, for a policeman, you've led a very sheltered life.
[Dorothy sneaks up on the mouse in the kitchen, carrying a broom]
Gotcha! You're trapped like a rat. Okay, so you're a mouse. Either way, you're out of here. [The mouse looks up at her] Oh, listen, you had your chance to- to leave and you didn't take it, and now I have to kill you. I mean, I'm probably doing you a favor. I mean, what kind of life are you having? What, you hang around sewers, you eat garbage. That's not living, honey. Believe me, you'll be better off once I put you out of your misery. [she goes to hit the mouse with the broom but stops] I have never killed another living thing in my entire life. All right, a bug, yes. I have killed bugs. But they don't count. [The mouse looks at her again] I don't know why, they just don't! I don't believe this. I'm talking to a mouse. The scary part is, I think you're listening.
LLucy
I hope I wasn't too much trouble.
Don't be silly.
We enjoyed having you.
So did half of Miami.
It wasn't a rat! It was a cute little mouse.
Rose, it doesn't wear white gloves and work at Disneyland! We're talking about a rodent!
Good night Ed. We are going to go home now and I want you to know that we'll all sleep a lot better knowing you're [Dorothy pauses] off duty tonight.
Sophia, do you think it's wrong for a girl to sleep with a man she's only known a few hours?
It's a sin.
See! Sophia agrees with me.
All I said was it's a sin. Personally I'd go back to eating fish on Fridays if His Holiness gave that one the green light.
S1 E18The Operation
[Dorothy has snuck home from the hospital because she is afraid to have surgery on her foot]
Blanche, call the police! I just saw a big, ugly man with a limp walk past my bedroom window. He was wearing Dorothy's coat! [she sees Dorothy sitting on the bed] But then again it was dark and I tend to overdramatize.
Rose, what I didn't tell you was... when I was five, Mamma enrolled me in a tap-dancing class. For six months we practiced. One hour a day, two days a week. And I was good. I was cute, and I was good. Real good. Then finally, it came time for the night of the recital. And there were thirteen little girls up there with our little Shirley Temple curls, and our little starched white pinafores, and our little Mary Jane shoes. Then they opened the curtain and the music started and twelve little girls started to dance. And one little girl wet her pants. That girl in the puddle was me. [laughs] I have never told that to another living soul, Rose. You see, I thought I had overcome my fear, honey, but I just haven't and performing is a nightmare for me.
[sternly] Hey, we've all got our sad stories. Look, Blanche, we've practiced for six weeks, we've paid for our costumes, we told everybody we'd be there, now you're not going to wimp out on me. You're going to go to that recital. And if you end up in a puddle tonight, well, you'd just better break in to Singin' in the Rain!
BBonnie
A few years ago, I had a mastectomy. And well, now I'm back for another.
And you're not scared?
BBonnie
I'm petrified. Nobody's that brave, except on TV and in the movies. I remember crying when they first told me, and I don't think I stopped until they wheeled me into surgery. Then afterward, I cried because I thought the pain would never go away. But it did. And it will again. You get through it. You move on. It could have been a lot worse, I could have missed these past three years....(after she goes quiet) Dorothy? Are you all right? How do you feel?
Like a fool. Like a damn fool.
(watching her roommate stretch) Why are you doing those exercises?
BBonnie
No reason. I just like to stay healthy.
I hate to break it to you, Bonnie, but you're in a hospital. The exercises aren't working.
Ma, what are you doing here?
You were operated on. You're my daughter! Where else would I be?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.