Let me get a look at you, girl! Terrific little figure, gorgeous hair, perfect skin! Just like looking in the mirror.
Get some Windex!
“Nice and Easy” · Season 1, Episode 17
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (6), Rose Nylund (4), Sophia Petrillo (3), Blanche Devereaux (2)
[telling a story that is supposed to relate to Blanche's problem with Lucy, about a time she snuck into a nearby city to meet a boy she liked at a gin mill] I marched right up to the door, and I ran right into Reverend McKenzie, coming out of the bar on the arm of Millie Beasley, wife of Emmett Beasley, our town's most decorated war hero. Emmett received three Purple Hearts - all for head wounds. He ran the feed store in our town. Of course, if the truth be known, Millie was the one who had to make change for the customers.
Rose, are you telling a story or performing Our Town?
Oh, sorry. Anyway, Reverend McKenzie made a deal with me. He said if I didn't tell on him, he wouldn't tell on me. So I went home.
Well, did he keep your secret?
Till the day he died - which was two days later. Emmett found Millie and the reverend skinny-dipping in the church's fountain, and shot the both of them. A week later, we became Lutherans.
Rose, that isn't a teenage rebellion story. That is a changing religion story. That is a big "WHO CARES?" story. THAT IS A "WHY THE HELL TELL IT IN THE FIRST PLACE" STORY!!!
EEd
Rose, you're just incredible on Miami Vice trivia! I've never met anyone so smart!
Ed, for a policeman, you've led a very sheltered life.
[Dorothy sneaks up on the mouse in the kitchen, carrying a broom]
Gotcha! You're trapped like a rat. Okay, so you're a mouse. Either way, you're out of here. [The mouse looks up at her] Oh, listen, you had your chance to- to leave and you didn't take it, and now I have to kill you. I mean, I'm probably doing you a favor. I mean, what kind of life are you having? What, you hang around sewers, you eat garbage. That's not living, honey. Believe me, you'll be better off once I put you out of your misery. [she goes to hit the mouse with the broom but stops] I have never killed another living thing in my entire life. All right, a bug, yes. I have killed bugs. But they don't count. [The mouse looks at her again] I don't know why, they just don't! I don't believe this. I'm talking to a mouse. The scary part is, I think you're listening.
LLucy
I hope I wasn't too much trouble.
Don't be silly.
We enjoyed having you.
So did half of Miami.
It wasn't a rat! It was a cute little mouse.
Rose, it doesn't wear white gloves and work at Disneyland! We're talking about a rodent!
Good night Ed. We are going to go home now and I want you to know that we'll all sleep a lot better knowing you're [Dorothy pauses] off duty tonight.
Sophia, do you think it's wrong for a girl to sleep with a man she's only known a few hours?
It's a sin.
See! Sophia agrees with me.
All I said was it's a sin. Personally I'd go back to eating fish on Fridays if His Holiness gave that one the green light.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.