You really think selling candy is going to qualify you for that prestigious award?
Oh, excuse me. I didn't realize that slipping my tongue to half the firemen in the county was the more lofty social achievement!
S1 E21Flu Attack (a.k.a.) The Flu
[to Dorothy] You are undoubtedly the meanest sick person I've ever met! Not to mention the most unattractive.
Oh, you don't have to worry about me, honey, I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.
Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.
[on why she isn't wearing the same green silk dress she wore to last year's banquet] I decided too many people would recognize it. It is such a stunnin' shade of green.
The only thing they'll remember is the way you fall out of it!
Sophia!
If you asked people the color, half of them would say, "Flesh tones"!
Sophia!!
[Dorothy blowing her nose]
Must you do that?!
She can't help it Blanche, she has to blow her nose. Or is that a banana.
S1 E22Job Hunting
[to Rose] Sure you're five years older, so am I, so is Blanche. [Blanche gives Dorothy a dirty look] Alright, so you have a few more wrinkles, so do I, so does Blanche. [Blanche gives a dirtier look] Alright, you're a little thicker around the middle, so is Blanche. [Blanche now looks mortified]
And nobody wants me around.
Oh, honey, we want you around, we just can't afford to pay you!
I defrosted some chicken. We'll eat in half an hour.
I can't eat chicken. It repeats on me.
Look, Ma, you don't have to make excuses. If you don't want chicken, just say, "I don't want chicken."
I don't want chicken.
Good.
It repeats on me.
[Dorothy puts her head against the cupboard door in frustration]
[after being awakened by the ringing phone] I'm as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo!
Boy, that's pretty jumpy.
Barry [Glick] was the man that I wanted to be the first.
First where?
On Mars, Rose! My first lover!
Well, so what happened?
Stanley, that's what happened, Stanley. I went to a drive-in with Stanley. He said he was being shipped off to Korea, would probably die, and it would mean so much. That was my part of the war effort. It took three seconds. I wasn't sure that we had done anything, actually, until nine months later when the baby came. Then I figured out that we had. You know, that was my only proof.
(superior) I waited until my wedding night.
[Dorothy puts her nose in the air and mocks Rose's superior attitude.]
We're out of pepperoni.
[fake gasps] Did you call Dan Rather?
You've probably haven't noticed it, but I've put on three pounds.
On each side.
If I don't get at least six hours sleep, I look like Buddy Ebsen!
[thinks] Now that you mention it-
Shut up, Blanche.
Well, I certainly didn't wait for my wedding night, honey. I couldn't - I had these urges. You know, in the South, we mature faster. I think it's the heat.
I think it's the gin.
[while reading her phone messages] Why, oh why can't grief take a holiday?
Oh, it does Rose, it does. Eventually, it comes to Miami like everyone else.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.