[to Rose] Sure you're five years older, so am I, so is Blanche. [Blanche gives Dorothy a dirty look] Alright, so you have a few more wrinkles, so do I, so does Blanche. [Blanche gives a dirtier look] Alright, you're a little thicker around the middle, so is Blanche. [Blanche now looks mortified]
“Job Hunting” · Season 1, Episode 22
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (9), Blanche Devereaux (6), Rose Nylund (4), Sophia Petrillo (4)
And nobody wants me around.
Oh, honey, we want you around, we just can't afford to pay you!
I defrosted some chicken. We'll eat in half an hour.
I can't eat chicken. It repeats on me.
Look, Ma, you don't have to make excuses. If you don't want chicken, just say, "I don't want chicken."
I don't want chicken.
Good.
It repeats on me.
[Dorothy puts her head against the cupboard door in frustration]
[after being awakened by the ringing phone] I'm as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo!
Boy, that's pretty jumpy.
Barry [Glick] was the man that I wanted to be the first.
First where?
On Mars, Rose! My first lover!
Well, so what happened?
Stanley, that's what happened, Stanley. I went to a drive-in with Stanley. He said he was being shipped off to Korea, would probably die, and it would mean so much. That was my part of the war effort. It took three seconds. I wasn't sure that we had done anything, actually, until nine months later when the baby came. Then I figured out that we had. You know, that was my only proof.
(superior) I waited until my wedding night.
[Dorothy puts her nose in the air and mocks Rose's superior attitude.]
We're out of pepperoni.
[fake gasps] Did you call Dan Rather?
You've probably haven't noticed it, but I've put on three pounds.
On each side.
If I don't get at least six hours sleep, I look like Buddy Ebsen!
[thinks] Now that you mention it-
Shut up, Blanche.
Well, I certainly didn't wait for my wedding night, honey. I couldn't - I had these urges. You know, in the South, we mature faster. I think it's the heat.
I think it's the gin.
[while reading her phone messages] Why, oh why can't grief take a holiday?
Oh, it does Rose, it does. Eventually, it comes to Miami like everyone else.
It's terrible, just terrible! I am so upset.
Rose, Rose, honey, sit down sweetheart, tell us all about it. Ma, would you get Rose some water?
What is she going to do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say: 'Thank God, the water's here'? Call me when dinner is ready.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.