I read that flyer you brought home. Every time you get a pamphlet, I get that disease. And not just diseases. I thought for a while I was a Jew for Jesus!
Hi, Sophia.
Shalom.
S7 E1Hey, Look Me Over
S7 E2The Case of the Libertine Belle
Oh, morning Ma. How'd you sleep?
Pretty good. I dreamed I was making love to Jay Leno.
That's a strange dream for you to have.
Not really. It was Monday night and he was filling in for Carson.
You know, back in Minnesota, I was known as the Sherlock Holmes of St. Olaf.
Figured out which one was Shinola, did you, Rose?
The hard way.
If I got this job, it would mean going to Europe with [Kendall], to look for rare paintings and antiques.
Well, if he has an eye for antiques, you should be a shoo-in.
Look who's calling the vase Ming.
Is there any chance I can persuade you girls to join me for a murder mystery weekend?
Blanche, are you kidding? I have read every word Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler ever wrote. Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe have become a part of me! "She had more curves than the Monaco Grand Prix and was twice as dangerous. Her jewelry was mute testimony that Charlie Chaplin wasn't the only tramp who hit it big in this town."
You do this on first dates, don't you, Dorothy?
[after Dorothy tells her to figure who at the mystery weekend are guests and who are actors] Okay Dorothy. [suspiciously] If that's your real name.
[Blanche is disgusted that Posey is flirting with Kendall] You flirted with him.
I'm from the South! Flirting is part of my heritage.
What do you mean?
Her mother was a slut too.
MDMaitre'd
My God! They've been murdered! [goes back to original position nonchalantly]
[coming from the bathroom] Does this mean we don't get any birthday cake?
[pointing at the maitre'd] The butler did it!
MDMaitre'd
I'm a maitre'd.
Thank you. [points again] The maitre'd did it!
MMan
Philip did it!
WWoman
Gloria did it!
It was Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick. [sees that everyone is staring at her] Oh, she says the butler did it and I'm the idiot?
. . .
I got it! A maitre'd is some kind of waiter!
GGloria
[when Dorothy presents a bit of her theory] This woman's pathetic!
[sarcastically] Oh, big news. Tear out the front page!
behind Sophia with a knife A throat is almost always cut from behind...
Not part of the show, people! NOT PART OF THE SHOW!
[after Dorothy solves the mock crime] Dorothy, that was a real Tour de France!
Last evening, at dinner, when Ms. McGlynn saw Blanche give Kendall Nesbit her key, she was furious. She dropped a steak knife into her purse,—
Big deal. I took a whole place setting—
[shouting angrily] NOT NOW, MA!
[upon seeing the corpse on the bed in Blanche's room] All right, Ma, give me your mirror.
What for?
Every morning I hold it under Ma's nose. If it fogs up, I start the coffee.
Maybe that bloody dagger will lead us to the murder weapon!
DDetective
St. Olaf?
[Amazed] Boy, he is good!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.