Freddy Horniman quotes from The Gentlemen

Freddy Horniman

Hang on. The three of us against an entire fucking clown town. Is there a plan here, Edward?

[sitting in vehicle] Does the name Stanley Johnston ring a bell?

No, why?

He’s the chap I just sold the wine to. He is very interested in buying the estate. And the kind of money he was offering suggested he might know something about the operation.

What did you say his name was?

Stanley Johnston.

With a ‘T’.

What did you say to him?

I said it wasn’t for sale.

Well done. That’s the correct answer. [hands out sheet] Take a look at this.

What is it?

The lyrics to a song Freddy’s gotta sing when he hands the money over. And he’s gotta dance. Like a chicken.

Like a chicken?

Like a chicken.

Why does he have to dance like a chicken?

Because Tommy Dixon, understandably, needs an apology. [Pete gestures from residence door] Party time. [She and Eddie exits vehicle]

[walking to residence door and reads aloud] “I’m a posh twat who fucked up, ee-iee-io. I fucked up because I’m a knob, ee-iee-io. With a twat, twat here, and a twat, twat there.” How old is Tommy Dixon?

It’s a small price to pay.

[holds up bags] Want us to count it? Guy said it’s all there.

No, I’m good.

You sure? It’ll just take a little while.

No, come on, let’s go.

All right. I think he wants to say sorry.

Oh. Do you want an apology?

I don’t know. Do I?

Yes, you do. We need closure.

Blanket!

[drags out a bloodied Freddy] One Sticky Peteǃ

Freddy Horniman

I... I just wanted to say sorry from the bottom of my heartǃ Ah, that’s nice, innit, Eddie? I gave you back the money, and I’ve said I’m sorry, so are we cool?

[sighs] I don’t know. Are we cool, Edward?

Yeah. Yeah, we’re cool. [walking to vehicle] You said you were gonna talk to him.

Oh, we did. Don’t worry about him. We did him a favor. We discipline the dog, not the man.

What’s that supposed to mean?

There’s a dog in a man that the man can’t control. So we had to control it for him. Know what the fundamental challenge with the human condition is?

No. But filling in the blanks, is it too much dog and not enough man?

Too much untrained dog. And we are in the dog training business.

[Eddie and Susie pull into warehouse with Freddy tied to chair with Mercy holding a machete] You’d better have my rice. He says he’s your brother. Is this true, or is this more bullshit like the stupid voice he made?

He’s my brother. Now you have your product, you can let him go.

[scoffs] You stole from meǃ There have to be consequences.

They didn’t know what they were stealing.

[points machete] And you are?

I’m Susie Glass.

Compliments to the chef. Certain lanes for certain horses. Certain slips for certain dogs. You know how this works. You can’t just return what you stole. We have people, organizations, competition. They need to know, cause and effect. I mean, someone’s got to pay.

We understand. That’s why we brought a peace offering. [opens van back door to reveal Toni Blair] As you can tell, we’ve been misled. Now you put him in the chair instead of my brother.

I believe in, uh, biblical punishment. Hmm? [pulls off Freddy's hood]

Eddie. For the love of fuck, get– [Mercy strikes him on head]

Agh, Jesus Christ. Eye for an eye. If someone tries to steal from you, it’s enough to take off a finger.

You don’t need to take a finger. You don’t need to take anything else because, technically, I didn’t try to steal anything. Isn’t that right?

You’re right, Freddy.

If someone actually steals from you... Hmm? [tuts] I mean, the message needs to be loud and clear. Yeah?

Freddy, we’re done here. Come on.

Stay the fuck there!

All right, all right.

I-It’s not enough for justice to be done. Justice needs to be seen to be done. As a warning for those who might suffer the temptations in the future.

Freddy Horniman

If that’s directed at me, I promise you I’m not gonna be tempted in future. I promise you that.

Okay, you keep your eyes open, and you’ll learn a valuable lesson. Oh, hello. Let’s hear what he has to say, yeah? [Toni Blair's hood is pulled off] Yes?

Fuck you. You cocksucking bitch! [laughs and Mercy repeatedly attacks him with machete] Thank you for your attention.