The Gentlemen · Season 1, Episode 8
“The Gospel According to Bobby Glass” · Season 1, Episode 8
In this episode: Edward Horniman (8), Susan Glass (8), Frederick Horniman (2), John Dixon (2), Stanley Johnston (2), Sabrina Horniman (1), Bobby Glass (1), Freddy Horniman (1)
I am a great believer in the importance of sartorial expression. There’s nothing wrong with conformity, as long as you know you’re conforming. Whilst I might dress like a sheep, there are various tell-tale signs that betray to the esoteric eye that I am, in fact, a wolf… in sheep’s clothing.
[chuckles] Do you have an occasion in mind for its unveiling?
I do indeed. A new suit for a new era.
[places hand on Jack's head while in coma] His spirit is strong, and his flesh will follow the spirit.
That’s a comforting thought.
[calls Freddy outside the manor] Hello, Freddy. I’ve come to collect a debt. A debt that you owe me. Now, we can do this one of two ways. You’re coming out, or I’m coming in.
[The Gospel and his men are waiting outside the manor doors] Okay. Enough’s enough. [heads to door] Guys, I love ya. It’s been nice knowing ya.
[approaches] Freddy, Freddy!
No, this is my mess, and it is time I finally fucking faced up to it.
[she and Sabrina closes door] I will not fucking let youǃ
It’s okay. It’s okay. Guys, it’s okay. Because this is nothing less than I deserve. I am a massive piece of shit. Yeah? And if those guys out there let me live, I’ll just go right back to being a piece of shit. Am I wrong? Edward, am I wrong? Exactly. But it’s okay. Because this is the one time I can do something selfless. The one chance I have to reclaim a shred of human dignity. So don’t take that away from me.
Don’t do that. Freddy, it’s not dignity. It is pain and violence and death. Now, we love you. [places hand on Freddy's jaw] And, yes, you can be a bit of a prick.
Big prick.
Big prick.
Big, old prick.
But right now, we need you. All right?
[to Eddie and Susie] You know why I love pigeons so much? They symbolize the harmony of man with nature. Even before Noah touched dry land, we were working together, man and bird. Have you ever heard of, uh, Cher Ami? Well, the last year of the Great War, 500 French soldiers were trapped behind enemy lines. They were getting shelled by their own firm. So this major, he sends the pigeon off for help. Now, this pigeon, he gets shot in the breast, loses an eye, his poor little leg is hanging from a strand. But he flies all the way back to base, delivers the message, and the troops are saved. Because of that pigeon. Now, the French, they awarded the pigeon the Medal of Valor. You see, pigeons, they have values. Loyalty. Bravery. Integrity. I need you two to bury the hatchet, for want of a word. The moral of the story is, you need to take the blows, accept the blame, all for the sake of the bigger picture. I need you two to be my Chers Amis, ’cause I can’t be dealing with any more shenanigans like this morning. [Eddie going outside with guns drawn to see The Gospel and his men disappeared] No one wants that Scouse headbanger kicking in the front door followed by his army of God-drunk luna-cunts. I made it clear to Mr. Dixon that if he went back home, I’d make it up to him. So now, Eddie, you’ve gotta make it up to me. Sit the fuck down. It’s like dealing with a couple of kids. I’ve been reviewing my situation. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m done, I’m out, I’m finished. Jack’s gonna be all right, but I see this as a sign. Uh, an epiphany, so to speak. So I’m just gonna sell the business. Simple as that.
What does that mean about our deal? I want out. I don’t want to segue from growing weed into mass-producing methamphetamines.
Yeah, I understand that, and, you know, and I will stand by what I said. You know?
You do realize you’re doing exactly what Mr. Johnston wants you to?
Mr. Johnston hasn’t got a fucking clue about the nuances of the situation. So, no, I ain’t giving no one fuck all. Especially the Septic. Now, I’m gonna be selling to the highest bidder, and I’ll accept offers in excess of 150 mill. All bids have gotta be in by the end of the week. All I want you to do is work with Susie and make sure she gets the best deal.
And why me exactly?
It ain’t gone unnoticed that you two have become a right double act working together.
Why didn’t you say anything back there? You’ve been running the operation for years. Gonna let him sell it out from under you?
I’m an employee, Eddie. Just like you.
What do you mean? He’s your father. He didn’t even ask your opinion.
He didn’t ask for yours either. You went behind my back, Eddie. Not once, but twice.
Well, I think it’s safe to say we both made some miscalculations, to put it mildly, but it’s business, Susan.
Got your way in the end, didn’t you? Dad’s selling up, and you’re getting out.
What about you? You’re a little young to retire.
I can think of worse things for the soul than getting my full ten hours and bingo on a Wednesday.
Quite.
He’s made up his mind. Let’s just do what the old man says and be done with it.
I’ve made no secret of my desire to take control of your father’s organization. I am aware that it’s been faced with serious disruption over the last few months. Product gone missing. Pipelines blocked. Punches being thrown.
Hmm. We’re aware that you’re behind all of that. But you crossed the line when it came to my brother.
You rejected my initial approach. I needed to convince you and your father that I was in earnest. Now, I’m prepared to enter into negotiations over the peaceful handover of your business, but you must understand that I’m doing it from a position of considerable strength. Ms. Glass, what you seem not to know is that one of your disgruntled staff has leaked to me the 12 addresses of the other farms.
I’m afraid not. The list that I gave to Mr. Stevens was, in fact, spurious.
I was under the impression it was verified.
No. You’ve been the victim of a deception, Mr. Johnston.
I must admit, I was surprised to see you arriving together. Why the change of heart?
Felt like a pivotal moment. So I pivoted.
And despite your Machiavellian tactics, my father is still willing to sell the business to you, but only if you’re willing to pay more than everyone else.
Does that explain the presence of the bird?
My father is decidedly old school when it comes to business communications. He wants all bids sealed, in writing, and delivered by carrier pigeon by the end of the week.
What makes you think I’m interested in the weed game?
We understand that you have some serious connections in South America. What they’d be getting is a vertically-integrated business that currently controls close to 50% of the UK market.
If and when there’s a mandate for legalization in the UK, you’ll be getting some of the most advanced distribution and development facilities in Western Europe.
You know I don’t mess around. You’ve seen this with your own eyes, yeah? My associates, something else.
Oh. Well, we’re willing to take that risk.
What’s wrong with an email or a phone call?
You’ll have to ask Bobby when you make the winning bid.
Help you? I can hook you up with the Russkies, but a word to the wise... They are fucking hardcore. Make a joke they don’t understand, they’ll throw you out the window.
The question is, do they have the relevant backing?
Oh God. A few hundred’s nothing to these fucking Russians. They are Kremlined-up to the hilt.
And what happened between us...
Best thing that ever happened to me. You see, until you’ve had the living shit beaten out of you, you don’t know anything. But when you realize the only thing that matters is power, the whole world opens up. ‘Cause it’s literally there for the taking. Love the bird, by the way. [chuckles] It’s fucking hysterical. [Eddie places down pigeon carrier]
I guess that officially brings our business dealings to an end.
Hmm. Still got a few more birds left.
Might as well let ’em go. They’ll find their way home.
Poor pigeons, eh?
Good luck.
Good luck.
[walking away] It’s been emotional, Captain.
Give me the bird.
Just one pigeon, okay? Just one measly fucking pigeon, Eddie. Listen, I know what you’re gonna say. You’re gonna say you’ve got some heavy fucking hitters lined up out there. But I’ve raised some epic funds in my time.
Debts don’t count. Okay. No need to be snarky.
The point I’m trying to make is this. I have been watching you these past couple of months. Observing the way you operate and just soaking it all in, all this crime stuff–
Listen to me. All right? We’re done. No more games. No more debts. It’s over.
Oh, I get what this is. I see. You’re jealous. You want me out the way.
I think it was you who wanted me out of the way, Freddy.
Okay. Well... touché. I probably deserved that. But–
I’m taking the pigeon, Freddy.
[snatches away pigeon carrier] I’m not giving you Mitch, Ed.
You weren’t meant for this, Freddy. Neither of us were.
[chuckles] Remember that first time Dad took us deer stalking? Remember that?
[sighs] Uh, no. No, not really.
We all stalked the deer together, and then Dad let me take the shot. And I got it. I fucking got it. And he was so fucking proud. And then when we got closer... and it was still breathing... I couldn’t do it.
Well, you were just a kid, Freddy.
You were younger than me. Dad handed you the knife, and you slit that thing’s throat like it was fucking nothing.
Yeah.
[sighs and walks to Eddie] The point I’m trying to make is this, Edward. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not... cut out for this. But you... You were fucking born for it. [hands Eddie pigeon carrier] Look after Mitch for me. [walks away]
[visiting Jack in hospital] How’s he doing?
Sleeping a lot. But improving.
How are you doing?
I don’t know, really. Kinda just focused on him at the moment.
You must be very close.
He was, uh, ten when our mum passed away.
Well, that’s a heavy responsibility on young shoulders.
It never felt like a burden. I loved looking after Jack. I love running the business.
I know that your father is planning on selling the organization, and you’re probably weighing up what to do. So my one piece of advice would be, don’t listen to anyone, least of all my son, and especially not your father. However, if you want the benefit from my vast years of experience, I’d say that you’re much more likely to regret the things that you didn’t do rather than the things that you did.
Tell me, what is it you’re worried I’m not gonna do?
[observing painting] Is that scouse brains I can see in the clouds?
Hang on. The three of us against an entire fucking clown town. Is there a plan here, Edward?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Gentlemen pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
