Geoffrey Seacombe, Simon MacDougall and others in “Do You Reject Satan?”

Sorry to bother you, Mr. MacDougall. The Duke would like a word.

He’s here?

Hello, Simon. Sorry to drop in unannounced.

Your Grace.

So, what do we owe this rare pleasure to?

Well, uh, I heard you’ve decided to sell up.

That’s correct.

I was a little disappointed that you hadn’t let me know, given the conversation we had.

Yes, sorry about that. I decided to, uh, test the water on the open market. The offer I gave you is much higher than you’d get on the open market.

I mean, why don’t we just save yourself the trouble?

I’d prefer not to.

And, uh, do you have another buyer in the waiting?

Nope, not yet.

Uh, Simon, is there anything I’ve done to offend you?

I’ve lived next door to your family for 15 years. Every Christmas, we’ve invited you round for drinks. Not once has anyone dignified us with a response to say that you could not make it.

Well, I am a very busy man, Simon, and my mother a poor correspondent. For that, I can only apologize for our collective failures. In the light of that, why don’t I raise the offer to 19 million right here, right now, and we call it a day?

You see, you... you know what the trouble is with… with people like.... like you? You... you think you’re better than us, with your… with your seat and your title and your… your dodgy mates. Don’t think I don’t know what goes on up at that estate. I’ve... I’ve heard the rumors. You think you can just buy whatever you want, but the truth is that you can’t. So, why don’t you take your 19 million and shove it up your arse?ǃ

I don’t blame you, Simon, for the cloud of misapprehension that you’re currently under. My offer to you is 19 million. Tomorrow, it will be 18. The next day, 17. And it will continue to decrease until it reaches zero. It’s a very generous offer. I suggest you accept it.

If you think you can intimidate me, like some kind of gangster, you can’t.

But what if you were right, Simon? What if, as well as a duke and a peer of the realm, I was, indeed, a gangster? Do you really think that you can stop me getting what I want?