“The Bigger Picture” quotes from The Gentlemen

The House of Lords is one of the oldest institutions in the world. Some say it's an affront to modern democracy. Others that this group of steady-handed experts, unaffected by the vagaries of public opinion, are the only thing stopping the country from tipping over into the abyss.

Bobby Glass

I don't need a fսcking history lesson, Dickie. Cut to the chase.

Right, yes. The point of the matter is the bill to decriminalize mɑrіjսɑnɑ will be decided on Friday. If the Contents get it, the bill is passed, and you'll be able to buy an eighth of premium-grade wacky-tobaccy from any number of a thousand certified high-street outlets by the end of the year. If the Not-contents get it, the bill will be thrown back to the House of Commons, where it will slowly wither up and die, like a gamey old courtesan with the clap.

Once you take party loyalty into account, the House is split down the middle, which means whoever controls the non-affiliated hereditary peers effectively controls what happens to the bill.

And thanks to the delicate and nuanced work of the boys over the last couple of weeks, I'd say we're quietly confident.

Bobby Glass

Well, that's it, then, isn't it? Job done. This time next week, it'll be as dead as disco.

[at eating establishment] We need you to let the bill go through.

We've just told your father we'd block it.

Don't worry about him. You need to focus on how you're gonna persuade your compadres to pull a 180.

What are you talking about?

We know it's a big ask, but given the unique nature of our reciprocal relationship, we thought on this occasion you might be able to pull out all the stops.

Please don't think I'm not grateful for everything you've done for me.

Say no more. And rest assured, we haven't breathed a word of your little incident to anyone.

Not a word.

I'm not saying I won't do it, but... Oh dear. Let me explain. [positions condiment bottles on table] Um... You have your red sauce, brown sauce, salt and pepper, your mustard. Now, the Conservatives, they'll never support it. But Labour will. The Liberals are pretty much divided down the middle. And the lion's share of the hereditary peers will follow the money, but that still leaves possibly 20 votes short.

Well, who's the mustard in this analogy, Dickie?

In addition to the peers who make up the membership of the House of Lords, there are 26 Lords Spiritual. Now, together, they would form a block that could push us over the line. But there is a significant wrinkle that would need to be ironed out in the shape of the Bishop of Sussex.

What's the ish with the bish?

She's a staunch campaigner against the evil menace of nɑrcоtіcs. But there might be a route into her vestry, so to speak. There is a wayward son in the picture.

Mm. Well, you leave the bishop to us.

Do you know what Jesus said to the vendors when he cast them out of the temple? He said to them, "It is written." "My house shall be called a house of prayer..."

"And you shall make it a den of thieves." I couldn't agree more. You shouldn't hijack people's beliefs in the Almighty for one's own profit.

You're new.

Yes. I was voted in a couple of weeks ago.

Hereditary. Quite rare these days. Not as rare as bishops.

[chuckles] I wanted to talk to you about the upcoming bill.

I gather you're tight with Lord Hawthorne. I must say, you're very ambitious to champion a piece of legislation so early on in your career.

Well, I happen to believe that there are various social and economic benefits to legalizing mɑrіjսɑnɑ.

It's a gateway drսg, Your Grace. Have you been to the rehabilitation centers and met the people whose lives have been ruined?

Yes, I have. My brother happens to be in one right now.

Is that your motivation? The personal angle? Or is it just a narrative flourish you use to sweet-talk the support?

[chuckles] Well, you're certainly very cynical for one with such profound belief.

And you're very naive if you think you can persuade the Church of England to support decriminalization.

I'm merely here to see if there's a way you and I can help each other out. I wanted to talk to you about your son.

Sorry, what did you say?

Oscar. I heard he's got himself into a spot of bother.

[gets up] I think this meeting's run its course.

Let's not be too hasty. Just hear me out, please.

My son has got nothing to do with any of this.

I am aware of that, but I'm also aware that I need your help getting this bill through. And I think I can help him get out of his troubles. So please, tell me what happened.

My son is a very determined individual. He works in property. [sighs] Everything was going very well up until a few months ago. He got involved in a new development. He ended up borrowing money from some disreputable lenders to buy some obnoxious monstrosity out near Ascot. He contacted me three weeks ago, asking to borrow money to repay them. I gave him all I had, but then he called a week later asking for more. I said no. I'm very worried. I... I haven't seen him since. He isn't returning my calls.

Well, believe it or not, I've had some success in the past dealing with this sort of problem. Why don't you let me carry your burden, and, if I succeed, you can help carry mine?

[at gates of Oscar's residence] The bishop's convinced, if he doesn't come up with the money, he'll suffer the consequences. So we need to identify whoever holds the debt and see if there's a way we can relieve it. Then, if we deliver the son, she'll deliver the vote.

So the bish ish has turned into a mish?

It would appear so.

Can I help you?

We're looking for the gentleman who bought this place. Is he in?

Well, if I knew that, which I do, I wouldn't tell you. See, that's outside of my remit. This place here, that's my remit. Anything outside of this place isn't my, um...

Remit?

Yeah.

How about five grand to see him?

Give me ten, I'll take you to him. Come on in. [leading Eddie and Susie through corridor] Obviously, very much just a shell at the moment, but you can clearly see it's got a lot of potential. Smart kid, that Oscar. Got his nut on straight. Truth is, I've been managing this place since they first drew up the plans. Chief security officer, you know what I mean? So, uh, here's one for yah. Instead of a wage, I just took shares in this gaff. All right, here we are. This is us. Youse two got any idea how much a quarter of a percent of 200 million is?

Uh, yeah. £500,000.

That's your opinion. This is as far as I'll go. I can't cross this line. There's a conflict of interests. So, if you will, please.

[hands over cash] Of course.

[takes cash] Thank you.

[sees Eddie and Susie] Who the fսck are you?ǃ

Your mother sent us. She's very worried about you.

How the hell did you get in here?

Oscar, we're here to help you.

Although, uh, we might have a few questions.

[giving tour] I was offered this place for a hundred million. I know, right. 35,000 square foot set in 14 acres with its own private lake.

Who'd you borrow the money from?

Pat Gallagher. He's a, uh, super-rich Irish fight promoter looking to spread the risk of his investment.

Do we know Pat?

We do. He's a super-rich Irish cоcɑіnе dealer turned fight promoter. I don't doubt he was trying to wash his dirty money. How much do you owe him?

50 million. All I needed was another 20 for the refurb, but then he suddenly turns around, tells me he wants his money back with interest. No warning. I tell him, "I don't have that kind of money." "Not until I sell this place. I need a little time."

What do you think?

I think Oscar needs a pass from Pat Gallagher.

Do we have anything in the way of a backup plan?

No. Without that bird, we will be short 26 votes, our attempts to Shanghai the House of Lords will fail, and I'll be on the hook for 60 million to an Italian crime boss. There is no fսcking backup plan.

Do you need a sweetie? I think your blood sugar's running low.

Oh, I think I need more than that. I say we go to dinner.

I'm glad you came out tonight. Sometimes it's good to mix business with pleasure.

Well, I normally try to keep the two lanes separate.

[chuckles] And you were never tempted to make an exception for Eddie?

No, we work well together. That's very rare in this business. I'd never do anything to fսck that up. But I'll admit, he has his charms.

You make a good couple, you and Joe. You seem happier when you're with him. It's a good thing. Sometimes we all need to be happy.

Well, if you can't be happy, be merry.

[to Eddie, Susie and Bella appearing at his residence] Who are they?

They're here to help. This is the Contessa di Fabri.

Her grandfather was the greatest falconer in the whole of Italy, apparently.

Mind turning down the music a bit?

No, no. I think it's like a lullaby for the falcons, isn't it?

She's right. These birds, they love a bit of Italian opera.

Well, what you need to understand is falcons are incredibly romantic. When they mate, they mate for life. And this is how we're going to find your missing bird.