I know where babies come from. I took sex education.
PPhil
I thought you took band.
S2Be My Baby Tonight
S2Strip-Tease for Two
(at the Gingham Turtle restaurant, where Carlton is performing a striptease)
WWoman
Take it off!
Put it on! Carlton Banks, you put your clothes on this minute!
Mommy?!
(he covers his chest with his hands)
I wanna know what excuse you two have for pulling such a stupid stunt.
We needed the money.
For what? And I want the truth.
All right. It's like this Uncle Phil. See, Carlton got this inside tip on a stock.
Federal offense. Go on.
Then we pawned Aunt Viv's bracelet to get the money for the stock.
Grand Larceny. Impressive.
Then we lost the money, so we had to strip to get the bracelet back.
That would be indecent exposure. Is there more?
I'm afraid so dad. We never got the clasp fixed on mom's bracelet.
(all three start laughing)
You never got...I don't know what to say. What can I do? What do you boys think I should do?
I don't know...reward us for our honesty? (they laugh again) Hey, it worked for the Beave!
"The beave"!
[they all laugh inaudiably; Philip suddenly stops]
[loudly] DO I LOOK LIKE A WHITE GUY NAMED WARD?! Now, you get that bracelet back and for the next six weeks, I don’t want to hear you breathe. Or I’m calling the feds MYSELF!
[pause] I guess this probably ain’t the best time to tell him we ran over the mailbox.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.