The Closer · Season 3
Let me guess, natural causes?
If we were guessing, I wouldn't be cutting the old guy open, pulling out his intestines. I'd be at brunch, with my friends, having a mimosa.
Well, Dr. Morales, I'm so sorry to interrupt your Sunday, but its important to establish that Mr. Kaplan here is not a homicide victim.
Well then, wipe off your crystal ball, honey, because this guessing game isn't working for you.
[the squad is searching a nursing home] It kills me. White people pay all this money to store their families in places like this. We throw some carpet in the garage, everyone's welcome.
[concerning their suspect's room in the nursing home] Wait a minute. I do recognize him. Baxter. Donald Baxter. He had the police beat on the newspaper when I was first starting out, chief. How did he end up here?
Don't worry, Lieutenant. I'll come visit you.
[concerning Baxter's previous complaints] You know, Chief, we get this kind of stuff all the time. It's hard enough staying on top of the crimes we find, much less the ones people make up. And the guy was, you know...
I know exactly what happened. Mr. Baxter's old and...difficult. Because of that, he was dismissed out of hand. And I know that's what happened because that's exactly what I've been trying to do to him myself. And when we just dumped a complaint in the trash, a few more human beings went with it.
Are you actually talking about putting me in prison?
Don't worry. It's not that different from Summerview, really. You have to sign in to visit people, friends and relatives tend to forget you exist, and at some point, the state of California may just put you out of your misery.
Well, I certainly don't deserve this!
You're right, Mr. Whaley. Unfortunately, it's the worst I can do to you.
Actually, Doctor, I am feeling a little weird and the cold medicine I took seems to be making my heart race. Is that normal?
Ok, first: stay over there. Because whatever you have, I don't want it.
Sorry. Do you want to know my symptoms?
Do you have insurance?
Yes, I do.
Then see your own doctor. You end up dying, I promise to find out why.
Also Mr. Cooper had dinner less than an hour before he was killed. Maybe an Italian restaurant. Looks like pumpkin ravioli; don't often find it this time of year. Some risotto, lots of bread...
You sure this guy was a fitness instructor? That's an awful lot of carbs.
[to Lt. Tao, who is wearing a hazmat suit] Take off...TAKE OFF THIS RIDICULOUS HELMET! And the suit! All of it! For heaven's sakes!
Chief, this could end the entire training session!
Well, some things are more important, Lt. Tao. Now, Buzz, I need you to put on this hat and that suit. And hurry!
You want me to go out there and pretend to be Lt. Tao?
Yes! Exactly!
Do I have to over-explain everything?
Hey!
This is a tapestry of justice! That's what it is! A complete tapestry!
[WMD training has ended]
Time! Qualification has been achieved. You may all remove your gear and sign the queue log, please. [everyone removes their hazmat suits and signs out except Buzz]
It's ok, Tao. You can take the helmet off now. [Buzz takes off the helmet and signs out, to everyones surprise]
You're Michael Tao?
That's Lieutenant Michael Tao.
He's adopted.
If there's one thing my job has taught me: everything changes when you say it out loud.
I was planning on doing this at dinner tonight. It probably would be been more romantic, but chances are you'd still probably be working. And this damn thing doesn't really fit in my pocket, so...
What damn thing?
I know in your heart you're a bit of an old fashioned girl, so... [gets down on bended knee and takes out a box with a diamond ring] You see, I've arrived at that place where I can't imagine life without you. And let me just say I love you more than anything else in the world. Brenda, will you marry me? Please?
You're only asking me because you feel sorry for me.
No, I don't. Not at all.
Yes, you do.
I don't feel sorry. I'm not being nice. You are the woman I've been looking for my whole life and I'm taking advantage of you when you're most vulnerable because I want you to say yes. So please say yes.
It's so beautiful. It's ok if I keep my own name?
Of course.
Well, if you don't have any better sense than to ask me, I guess I better marry you. Because I think you're the guy I've been looking for too. And here we are. We found each other.
We've moved that writer's suicide over the Hollywood division, so you all are on the shooting full-time now. Chief Johnson believes that are the best detectives in the building. So, prove her right.
When you wanted to Georgetown I said no, and you went anyway. When you wanted to go work for the State Department I said no, and you did it anyway. Then when you called to say you were going to work for the D.C. Police your mama nearly had to sit on me to keep me from driving the van up there and kidnapping you. Over the years I've tried standing in your way several times and you always ran right over me. Capiche? If you want to go back to work, you go back to work. I've always found it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, you know what I mean?
I thought I knew how much shame you had, but now I see there's a level below. A whole sub-basement of shamelessness.
I'm horrible, I know.
No, actually. I'm kind of impressed.
Well, will you help me, then?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Closer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
