[to Dad] Holy gherkin pickles, pop!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[dressed as a pimp] I received assurances from Mr. Galrog that a young entrepreneur, such as myself, would not be inhibitated by the authorifications in this particular location. Galrog is wiggity-whack with our industry, suckers!
It's like I say, when life gives you lemons... blow those lemons to bits with your laser cannons!
I hope those are talking bubbles, buddy. [while Brak's Dad is mumbling in hottub water]
[Rapping] War is my profession. War is my obsession. Nothing I like better than a violent intercession. Blood must be spilled, thick enough to swim in as I hear the lamentations of my conquered foe's women! War, it's good for me, what's my name? THUNDERCLEESE!
My dad's not gonna like you hittin' his prize pigs with water bombs.
Oh, about those water bombs, those were live shells. BLAMMO!
[Stammers] You told me that was water!
Yeah, I lied about that. I lie a lot. That's what makes me cool.
[about Petroleum Joe] He is referring to carnal pleasures.
Oh, like the Ferris Wheel!
[Thundercleese thinks about this] ...Yes, like the Ferris Wheel.
Tonight, in the dark of night, after night has shrouded my dark plan in its nightly darkness, I will exact my revenge!
Wait a minute, why were you going to arrest Brak?
SGSpace Ghost
Because he is a criminal. He's committed many crimes in the future, where I come from. Even though the show took place in 1966.
What show?
SGSpace Ghost
My action-adventure show. It was wildly popular in the past, where it took place. Even though it was set in the future. Of course, in 1994 I also had a talk show in the future and Brak was my friend. Well, not really my friend, more of an associate. Unlike 1966 when he was a criminal in the past. Do you understand the words that I have said to you?
Ah, yes...but, uh, mostly no.
Alright, what do you wanna do?
Do you wanna make love, darling?
[furious] WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!
I wasn't talking to you! I was practicing for my wedding night.
What?!
Don't you ever do that? Don't you ever wonder how something's gonna sound before you say it in a real situation?
Oh, you mean like, "Put your hands behind your head!" or "How much for the twins?"
Yeah, I guess.
LMLittle man
[materializes by Thundercleese's face] Stupid robot not so tough. Tell me when you've had enough. [kicks Thundercleese and flies away laughing]
YOU WILL DIE!
Mother, people only invite you to dinner for three reasons: to sell you vitamins, to drug you and take unpleasant snapshots, or to convert you to their hideous farming religion!
Oh, rubbish!
No, mother, this is serious business -- they make you take an animal wife
You are going to get your bum off that chair, put on your walking hat, and come to the party. Is that clear?
All right, but I'm not kissing any animals on the lips.
Me neither!
Fair enough. Off we go then!
You are going to be charming no matter what happens. And you will keep your peculiar theories and philosophies of life to yourself!
But that's what I bring to the table, Mother! Don't you want to expose them to the full Dad treatment?
They don't want the full Dad treatment. No one does.
FFranklin
Ah, you must be the dinner. Guests. Dinner guests. I really should've put those two words closer together.
Hey Winston: how come you don't have any toys? All you've got is, is condiments.
WWinston
I use them when I have people over to eat. It makes them tastier to me. To my mouth. Heeheeheehee.
Yeah, huhuhuh. That's a good one.
WWinston
Why don't you pick up that knife and stab yourself a few times?
What?
WWinston
Oh I'd do it myself, but my heart's so puny it can't pump enough juice to get my limbs to workin'.
Hey why don't we play a game or something? Wouldn't that be fun?
WWinston
Oh yeah, that would. How 'bout if you play, uh, you bang your head on that wall 'n' crawl back over to me?
That doesn't sound like fun at all.
WWinston
Uh-huh -- it's fun for me. 'Cause I eat you! Fun for Winston!
One more remark like that and I am leaving!
WWinston
No don't go, don't go -- Winston lonely! We'll play a game just like Brak said.... Then I eat you!
Winston!
WWinston
Huhuhuh, I'm just jokin'!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Brak Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.