Dad quotes from The Brak Show

Dad

Life is too short to worry about eating and making kites out of animals.

Dad

Brak! Stop driving your little baby car around Saint Babiesburg and take your asteroid smashing like a man!

Dad

Why don't you ride your girl-bike home and put on your sundress? You'll look so pretty.

Dad

Tonight, in the dark of night, after night has shrouded my dark plan in its nightly darkness, I will exact my revenge!

Dad

[about the giant killer ants] Holy crap, they do wear hats!

Dad

Tell him I'm not here. No, wait, tell him I'm not here and to come back in 15 minutes! Tell him both of those, see what he does!

Dad

That man was an unlicensed physician! He had no right to mutilate that scout troop like that! They just wanted to hide in their cardboard boxes and drink cough syrup.

Dad

I'm a little tight back here, how about giving the old hump a squeeze?

Dad

And that’s why father-son outings are bullcrap!

Dad

What doctor? Brak did this. I ain't goin' to no doctor. Buncha fat-brained voodoo jive cats clubbin' their golf balls around, drunk on alcohol. Doctors? Heh, ptooey

Dad

Son, I just learned a valuable lesson. Never cross your sweet, loving mother, unless - and this is a key point - unless you want your arm ripped off and shoved up your ass.

I think there's something wrong with Brak.

Dad

There's something wrong with everyone.

Brak

I don't want to live anymore.

Dad

Ah, finally my own office! You see, Mother, told you if we wait, we wouldn't have to add-on!

Brak

It's your fault, Zorak! If you hadn't brought that brutally handsome gentleman into this house, I'd still have a mommy!

Dad

And I would still have a robust woman to carry my coffee beans to the roasting facility!

Dad

Do you find me more attractive like this [puts his hand on his chin] or like this? [raises one finger]

I don't know, let me see them again.

Zorak

[Robot is dragging him away from staring contest] Hey, what? Get your filthy probes off me!

Dad

Where are you going Nancy? Don't you want to finish our little dance?

Zorak

I didn't blink! I was winning! Arg! I'll be back!