The Brak Show · Season 1
[reading a survey card] "I, the customer, was a jerk on purpose. I had a bad attitude when I came in. Agree, strongly agree, or super strongly agree?"
Isn't "disagree" on there?
No, next question. "My demands were unreasonable, and I presented them with a very poor attitude because of my poor upbringing on a robot farm."
That's not what it says! Let me see it! [takes the card, but accidentally eats it] Whoops, somebody ate it.
[about the giant killer ants] Holy crap, they do wear hats!
Open box, use weapon, slay enemy, bathe in his blood.
Did the park ranger put you up to this?
Tell him I'm not here. No, wait, tell him I'm not here and to come back in 15 minutes! Tell him both of those, see what he does!
He's dead?
He was when I killed him.
Ay, Madre de Dios! It's Zorak!
It *was* Zorak. Heh heh [kicks his head] He's dead, all right.
I hated Zorak all my life, but now that he's dead I hate him even more because as an unregistered alien without proper driving credentials, I'll go to jail for killing this piece of crap!
[about the murder and eating Zorak's flesh] Brak can't know about this; he'll rat us out!
Yes, if anybody could find a problem with eating his best friend, it would be Brak; he's so anal.
That man was an unlicensed physician! He had no right to mutilate that scout troop like that! They just wanted to hide in their cardboard boxes and drink cough syrup.
So, what do you think of my new shoes?
I think they look like crap just like you, you big jackass!
I'm a little tight back here, how about giving the old hump a squeeze?
And that’s why father-son outings are bullcrap!
What doctor? Brak did this. I ain't goin' to no doctor. Buncha fat-brained voodoo jive cats clubbin' their golf balls around, drunk on alcohol. Doctors? Heh, ptooey
Oh hey Zorak you got a new squirt gun too. Let's have a squirt gun war. [Squirts water into Zoraks face] Ha Ha! I got you! Now shoot me as I run away. La la la la la la [Zorak shoots Clarence with his machine gun and Clarence starts screaming in horror].
Outta the way numb nuts! [Starts shooting the Japanese Company Mascot with a machine gun and laughs] Who was that?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Brak Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
