Zorak quotes from The Brak Show

Zorak

[to Brak's family] Hey why are you all still alive? Oh that's right, it's only Tuesday.

Zorak

Welcome home, jackass.

Zorak

[dressed as a pimp] I received assurances from Mr. Galrog that a young entrepreneur, such as myself, would not be inhibitated by the authorifications in this particular location. Galrog is wiggity-whack with our industry, suckers!

Zorak

Outta the way numb nuts! [Starts shooting the Japanese Company Mascot with a machine gun and laughs] Who was that?

Zorak

Gentlemen; behold!

Brak

Hello, Mr. Thundercleese!

Thundercleese

Are you here to destroy my lawn?!

Brak

I beg your pardon, we would never do that! Would we, Zorak?

Zorak

[jackhammering Thundercleese's lawn] What's that? Can't hear ya!

Zorak

So what are we going to see?

Brak

"Hot Dog In The Morning". This is the one where the little hot dog finds his way home.

Zorak

Far out!

Mom

Well, what have you boys been up to all weekend?

Brak

We've been playing "Head Kicker!"

Zorak

I've been playin'; YOU've been getting a red-ass beatdown! HAHA!!"

Zorak

We'd need a freaking time machine!

Brak

Yeah, like the one in Mr. Thunderclese's back yard.

Zorak

What?

Brak

'Course, he's on vacation...

Brak

Hey, Zorak, can I ask you a question?

Zorak

Yeah, what?

Brak

Where are we gonna find enough squirrels to make a kite?

Zorak

Are you really that stupid?

Brak

Oh ha! I dare you to say that again! Only this time say, "Brak I love you!"

Brak

Guess what I'm going to be for the talent show?

Zorak

I don't know, a loser?

Brak

No. I'm going to be a potato and sing the potato song.

Zorak

Ugh, I can't wait not to hear it.

Brak

What do you mean? Aren't you going to be there?

Zorak

Oh I'll be there. Heh, I'll be there. [Fantasizes that he is burning the talent show with a flamethrower and laughing maniacally / Brak running saying "Hot potato coming through"] Burn! BURN!

Zorak

[about Mobab] Hahaha. Ain't he a riot? I met him at the club!

Yes, the gentleman's club. Gentlemen only, please.

Brak

Can I join too? I'm a gentleman. Watch this: [with a British accent] Allow me to peel your biscuit, grand-mama.

I'm sorry, but Zorak took the last available membership following the untimely passing of Colonel Noseworthy.

Zorak

Yeah, it took him all night to die. [chuckles]

Zorak

[Robot is dragging him away from staring contest] Hey, what? Get your filthy probes off me!

Dad

Where are you going Nancy? Don't you want to finish our little dance?

Zorak

I didn't blink! I was winning! Arg! I'll be back!

Brak

Hey, what happened to my bed? [Brak's bed is covered in a thick, bubbling slime]

Zorak

Yeah, that's my funk. Leave it alone. It's resting.

Brak

Well, where did it come from?

Zorak

Do you really want to know?

Brak

No, I suppose not.

Brak

My dad's not gonna like you hittin' his prize pigs with water bombs.

Zorak

Oh, about those water bombs, those were live shells. BLAMMO!

Brak

[Stammers] You told me that was water!

Zorak

Yeah, I lied about that. I lie a lot. That's what makes me cool.