[Hughie and Annie are laying down on the hood of his car looking at clouds together]
It’s like a rabbit, but it’s got way too many feet.
Really? I see a frog eating a dick. This is definitely in my top five.
You’re saying that like… this is the last time we’re gonna get to do this. Hey, listen to me. The guys are gonna find Bombsight, they’ll get the V1. You’re not dying. We will have plenty of time to look for filthy shapes in the clouds.
God, I don’t know where it comes from. This… unshakeable hope.
Whenever I’d get upset as a kid, which was a lot… my dad would always say, “You know, son, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.” And that was infuriating. But then, I spent a year in an internment camp, and I had no control over anything. I’d just lay there at night, just… so fucking angry, hearing my dad’s voice in my head… but then I finally understood what he meant. ‘Cause the only thing I had left was… hope. And it is really fucking hard to hang on to, but I… I’m trying.
I think… you might be low-key the strongest person I know.
I’d prefer high-key… [Annie chuckles] but thank you.
[beat; points at the sky] Look, it’s–it’s Big Bird eating a dick.
You see an unsettling amount of dicks up there, I’m just saying.
[Homelander and Soldier Boy look around Bombsight's empty house to find the V1]
You sure this is the right address?
Well, there's no sign of Bombsight... or fucking anyone. Maybe Crime Analytics got a bad tip.
[Homelander sees a laptop on the table. When he opens it up, a video of him and Stormfront having sex starts playing. He notices Soldier Boy watching along with him and closes the laptop.]
That was Clara. You told me she killed herself.
She did, after Ryan did that to her. It's his fault.
So then what? You locked her in your apartment like some kind of amputee fuck doll...
...and filmed her for kicks?
No, no, no! It wasn't like that! I did... I did everything I could to keep her alive, to–to make her happy. [Soldier Boy punches him] Just listen to me, okay?! It wasn't all like... that. I couldn't let her go. I didn't know how... because I loved her. And so did you.
You're goddamn right I loved her.
She wouldn't want us fighting over her.
Don't fucking tell me what she would want! You knew her for five minutes; I was with her for decades!
Hold–Hold on. This–This is a setup. Someone's trying to separate us. This has been plan... Fucking Sage. It's Sage. You see? She's trying to screw with us. [Soldier Boy turns around to leave] Oh, come on! I can't find the V1 without you!
[pause; turns back around] Good. You don't deserve to live forever.
[Butcher tries to call Bombsight using one of his old phone numbers, but gets a fax machine instead]
MSMother's Milk
That a fuckin’ fax machine?
Yeah, it’s the last of the numbers she had for him. [to Golden Geisha] Oi. Twenty-three fuckin' numbers you had for Bombsight, and they’re all fuckin' shite?
GGGolden Geisha
Do you know how to delete them? I was telling you the truth. I have no idea where Bombsight is, or how to reach him. So just let me go.
Kimiko, keep an eye on her.
[Frenchie joins Butcher and M.M. on their way back to their hideout]
MSMother's Milk
The fuck do we do now?
Fetch us some pliers and put the screws to her. She knows more than she’s lettin’ on.
[They open the door to their hideout and walk inside]
Or she doesn’t. I’m sorry, but she’s not that good of an actress.
He’s right. [sarcastically when M.M. and Frenchie aim their guns at her] Ooh, I know. The villain switching sides in the final hour. What a twist, a shock that never happens. But unclench those assholes, fellas. I’m here to help. I’m a free agent now. I came alone. You can shoot me in the heart whenever you like.
That’s a good idea. [takes out and cocks his gun]
That would go against our mutual interest.
Stopping a petulant, laser-eyed narcissist from also becoming immortal. I want him dead as much as you do.
MSMother's Milk
You spent the last couple of years building Homelander up, and now you wanna tear him down? Why the fuck should we trust you?
You can’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t, but you will.
And why would we do that?
I know Campbell and Starlight are headed to plant your little virus. You can trace anyone, if you know what to look for. And you baboons, you leave a trail of banana peels wherever you go. I could have stopped you, I could have killed you... but I didn’t.
That virus is gonna wipe out the fuckin’ lot of ya. And you don’t strike me as the suicide type.
I will be in my nice, quiet bunker, reading Wittgenstein in peace. That is, unless that bleached blonde baby gets his hands on V1 and survives. You must have realized by now Granny out there has no clue how to contact Bombsight, but I do. And I can get him here. So... let me help.
I wanted to say... I'm very sorry about this. I watched every episode of Undercover Geisha when I was a kid. I loved it, even the parts that were ridiculous racist stereotypes. It meant so much to see someone who looked like me on TV. [brief pause] We watched with Japanese subtitles. It's how I learned English.
GGGolden Geisha
If you're such a big fan, let me go.
Désolé, but we cannot. Not until we get the V1 that Bombsight possesses.
GGGolden Geisha
Wait, that's what you're after? V1? [laughs]
GGGolden Geisha
I'll tell Bombsight to just give it to you. I sure as hell don't want it.
...He stole the V1 for you, so you two could be together forever. [pause] But you didn't take it.
GGGolden Geisha
[shakes her head] I said no... which is why he left. I guess, for him, watching me get old was too painful.
I'm sorry, I do not understand. Why won't you take it?
GGGolden Geisha
To live forever? It'd be torture. [scoffs] You're both so young. You wouldn't understand.
GGGolden Geisha
Summer is only beautiful when you know winter is coming.
[beat; to Kimiko] Is this how you feel?
[nods] Annie and I talked about it. We'd have to... [signing] We'd have to watch you and Hughie waste away. Neither of us wants to die, but... we don't wanna be vampires either.
[The Legend leads Homelander inside the Boys' hideout, which is deserted]
LThe Legend
I grant you, it–it looks like that, yeah. But this–this is their hideout, so I'm sure there's plenty of clues all over here. [picks up a receipt] Here you go. [Homelander sighs] Oh, no. Well, this is nothing. But, you know, they have to have left something behind, you know?
[looks at the receipt; chuckles] Hmmph. It's not nothing.
LThe Legend
It's a Taco Bell receipt.
No, this is Sage! Taunting me!
[laughs frustratingly; sits on bed] This makes no sense. This makes no sense. This makes no sense! [chuckles] You said I would get the V1. You said I'd be a god. Did I do something wrong? Did I fail you? I did everything you asked me to. I gave my boy up. Please, don't leave me here to just rot. Don't just let me become nothing like him. Please…
LThe Legend
[beat] I gotta assume… The only reason you're saying all this stuff is, you're... You're not gonna let me walk out of here alive, are you? Yeah? Okay. Yeah. [pause] Alright, look, kid. I've been around a long time and I… This is just how it goes. You know all those old Supes at the home? Every one of them had their moments in the sun and they all thought it was gonna go on forever. And every one of them got shoved out in the end. They all got shoved out. All of them. And I know what I'm talking about; I did the shoving. I mean, look at Goldie. One minute, she's on the set of Undercover Geisha, getting finger-popped by Lorenzo Lamas. The next, she's shilling for VoughtAlert necklaces and Activia poop yogurt.
Geisha sells VoughtAlert necklaces?
LThe Legend
Guess you don't watch your own news channel. The point is, look, there comes a day… I got shoved out, too. Never saw it coming. Did not see that coming, and I fought it like hell. But in the end... bupkis. There is a natural order to things. And the more you fight the inevitable, the more the inevitable just… cunt-punts you. [pats Homelander's shoulder] Yep.
[beat; gets up] You're not scared of me.
LThe Legend
No, I'm not scared of you. I… I feel for you, kid. I do. I mean, you're a fucking whackjob. But, you know, there's talent. So… No surprise there. [pause] So, there you go. Do what you gotta do.
[quickly] Leave. No words. Just go. Now. Go. [brief pause] Now.
LThe Legend
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[After The Legend leaves, Homelander makes a call to Crime Analytics on his cell phone]
OOperator
How can I help you, sir?
I need the tracking coordinates for a VoughtAlert necklace.
Tough skin or not, I can still break your fuckin' neck!
BBombsight
Ben, stop. Please.
[pause; lets Bombsight go] Goddammit.
BBombsight
[beat] I can't give it to you.
Goldie doesn't even wanna take it.
BBombsight
Then maybe someday, I'll find someone who will!
You were always gonna fuck it up with Goldie anyway. You could never hold down a girl! It was either a smack needle up your dick or—
BBombsight
Having to stand next to you? You were everyone's favorite from the start, especially Clara. Everything they wanted us to be–everything they were working towards–they saw it in you. I fucking hated you for it.
No. No, I wasn't everything Clara wanted. I didn't know how to be.
BBombsight
But you loved her. What wouldn't you give to have her back... forever?
…I really fuckin' hate you.
But we don't have to kill each other. I can take away your immortality... and your powers. You won't have to live forever alone. Then, you and Goldie can spend whatever time you have left like you want.
BBombsight
Why would you do that for me?
[Bombsight hands a case to Soldier Boy, who opens it to find a V1 syringe inside. The Boys hear an explosion from far away and run towards it. Cut to Bombsight looking at the wound near his shoulder.]
BBombsight
This is the first time I've seen my blood in... I can't remember.
[Homelander finds Soldier Boy with the V1 syringe he received from Bombsight. The Boys and Sister Sage watch them from the nearby woods.]
Don't. I don't wanna fight you.
[looks down at the syringe] You know, Clara used to say the craziest shit. That I was the strongest Supe alive, the ultimate expression of what we could be... but she was wrong. [pause] She hadn't met you yet.
[Soldier Boy offers the syringe to Homelander, who accepts it]
I don't understand. He wasn't supposed to... It's impossible.
I love her more... and this is what she would want.
[Homelander lasers his left arm and injects the V1 into his wound. His eyes immediately start flickering and he kneels on the ground in pain. The Boys watch in horror as Homelander screams and shoots powerful lasers into the sky.]
[A V1-empowered Homelander sits in President Calhoun's chair in the Oval Office. He hears a knock at the door.]
Come in! [in a cheerful tone as Ashley and Calhoun enter] Hello, you two. Isn't it a beautiful day?
[nervously] You're welcome to use this office as long as you need.
I know. Let's get right to it! While Oh Father is hard at work on my divine unveiling, I have a few action items I need you to handle.
Of course. Anything, sir.
The Democratic Church of America is to be the official national religion, based around the one true god: Me.
I want every boundary between church and state dissolved. I want troops sent into every sanctuary city that took in Starlighters. Issue an executive order banning abortion. Also, breastfeeding is now mandatory. Babies need their mothers, not fake milk. Actually, outlaw that, too.
[intensely] Ban nut milk. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was making you think nuts were milk. [snickers after a short silence]
Those are all, uh, fantastic ideas, sir. Um... I'll run them by Congress–
Disband Congress. It's better for freedom.
Well, sir, I don't really have that authority.
[frowns] Ashley, do me a favor. Read Steven's mind. I wanna know if he's a true believer.
But of... course I am, sir.
Terrific! Then you have nothing to worry about. [gets up and steps over to Ashley] Do it.
[He rips off her wig, and she gasps and covers her face in shame as "Back Ashley" is revealed]
[revolted] What the fuck is that?
?"Back Ashley"
Don't look!
?"Back Ashley"
[stammering in fear] Sir, I–I... Sir, I...
[sighs; steels herself and turns back to Homelander] He's terrified of you, sir. He thinks you're just a tiny bit psychotic.
Steven! [steps towards Calhoun, glaring intensely] Here I am. A living god. [rests his hands on Calhoun's shoulders] Right before your eyes... and still, your faith wavers? [beat; Calhoun is clearly too terrified to answer] It's okay. No, I'm not angry... [clasps his head gently] But I am disappointed.
[He crushes Calhoun's head into a pulp, then wipes the blood off his hands on a sofa. An utterly terrified Ashley stares at Calhoun's body as Homelander sits back down.]
[Hughie sees Kimiko suffering from radiation exposure inside a homemade uranium chamber while Butcher and Frenchie watch]
What the fuck is going on in here?
[to Frenchie] The second she's ready, we go the next dose, alright?
"Next dose?" Are you kidding?! Look at her! What are you doing?
Plan fuckin' B, my son. If at first you don't succeed, find another hole to fuck. See, Soldier Boy's flashy tіt blast got me thinkin', he–he weren't born with that power. The Ivans gave it to him through a consistent application of scientific methodology.
They threw an atom bomb worth of radiation at him.
Right. So, usin' the research we nicked from 'em a few donkeys back, me and Frenchie are doin' the same thing to Kimiko. She gets Soldier Boy's power, she tіt-blasts Homelander, bees and fuckin' honey.
So when we kept asking what you two were up to, and you kept saying, "Mind your fuckin' business, cunt," it was this?
Butcher, this is... the most insane-ass shit I ever heard. In a few weeks, you're gonna somehow do what it took the Russians over a decade?
Yeah, 'cause unlike the Ivans, we got us a livin', breathin' supercomputer bunked down in student services.
Sage? All she does is self-medicate and binge Love Island. This could fucking kill Kimiko. Frenchie…
Fuck Butcher. Who cares what he wants?
[Kimiko coughs and stumbles out of the uranium chamber]
Not Butcher. [panting heavily] Me. It's my call.
Oh Father's up to something big at Vought Studios, but we don't know what. Could be a trap.
[to Frenchie] You stay here with Kimiko and Sage. We'll bust into the studio, nab the holy twat, stomp on his bollocks till he gives us Homelander's next move. And then I'll do the cunt and we'll call it an honest day's work, yeah?
No. Quit acting like we're going on a milk run. It's over. [voice breaking] We lost.
[beat] Posh Spice was easily the most shit member of the squad. Could barely sing or dance. No discernible talent whatsoever. Wasn't even featured on "Wannabe", but did that stop her? No. You look at her now... still married with Becks. Fifteen engagement rings, 32 Vogue covers, inducted by Prince William into the Order of the bloody British Empire. Even I doubted her move into women's apparel, but her line is a staple at Paris fuckin' Fashion Week. You see, despite her obvious disadvantages–includin' a tragic inability to smile–she never gave up, and we ain't givin' up either.
MSMother's Milk
[shakes his head] Your fuckin' pep talks.
Ah, bollocks. That was a fuckin' knockout.
[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and speaks to him]
XXander
Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
Xander! [chuckles] Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
XXander
We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. [swims in circles]
I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
XXander
Yeah. Get in the water, man.
No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
XXander
[angrily] Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
XXander
If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ANYWHERE—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna KILL YOU! You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! YOU ARE DEAD TO US! [swimming away] Bitch-ass!
[Soldier Boy sees Homelander standing over a scale model of a Homelander-themed amusement park]
Hey. HomeLand. Next phase of the reboot. Showing the faithful my boundless love for them. [points at a monument of himself] That there? The Homelander Mount. We're saying that this is where the angel visited me, and I ascended to godhood.
You're gonna love this. [waves his hand over a rollercoaster] This area here? We're calling it: "Soldier Boy: Father of God!" All the fastest rides are gonna be there, and every night, there's gonna be a ticker-tape parade honoring you.
[pause] I'm gonna head down to Bogotá. Figure I'll snort and fuck my way through the banana republics.
Uh... When are you coming back?
What? Look, if you don't like the park, I mean, forget it. I don't–I don't care about any of it. You want hοοker and blow? I'll get you all the drugs and all the wrinkly old whοres in America.
No, you're not hearing me.
No, you're not hearing me. I am where I am because you chose me. To help me. So, I want you to have whatever you want.
What I want is to get away.
From what? [scoffs] Or from who?
This just ain't my bag, kid.
I welded your shield back together, you never use it. I hired you a three-star Michelin chef, all you ever order is meatloaf and chili. I even had L.J. mock up a new super suit for you.
[Homelander pulls out a poster of Soldier Boy wearing an American flag-patterned suit]
Oh, God. See, that's what I'm talking about.
I don't want that. And another thing: I gave you the V1 because of Clara. Because that's what she would've wanted. This was never gonna be a "playing catch on the front lawn", "fixing up the old Impala" bullshit. You're too weird.
Stop fucking saying that.
And you're no god. No angel came to you. You had a wet dream about some chick with big, juicy tіts. If that makes you a god, then I'm a fucking god every night.
[pause] Would it help if I said, "It's not you, it's me"?
[laughs softly] If you wanna go, go.
[sighs; pats Homelander on the back] Good luck, son.
[Homelander suddenly grabs Soldier Boy from behind and puts him in a chokehold until he passes out]
MSMother's Milk
Help me out here. In the movie, was Homelander God, the second coming, or Jesus' brother? 'Cause the world-building in there was fuckеd.
Does it even matter? I mean, they will believe whatever he tells them. What is the fucking point of saving people if they don't wanna be saved? This is what they want.
MSMother's Milk
[beat] Alright. So, back when my Gramps got killed by Soldier Boy, shit got rough. Neighborhood kids laughed, called me soft, shit like that. And then one day, I find this pigeon on the sidewalk, wing busted. He was in bad shape. So, I run inside, grab a shoebox and a first aid kit, and come to start nursin' it. I figure, if I can save just this one life, maybe it might somehow make up for... Anyway, those same fuckin' kids, they found out. And so now, it don't take a genius to go from Marvin Milk to Mother's Milk. "Yo, Mother's Milk, you letting that sky rat suck on your tіttіеs or that dіck?" They were relentless. Right up until the day when that little bird flew outta my house and right over their heads, good as new. And you know what, Annie? Here's the crazy thing: I loved my new name. 'Cause I loved helping people. I loved being kind, making my family proud. That name was a badge of honor for me. Now, last year, locked up in that detention center, something changed. My heart, it just got scarred over. Like the world had just broken it one too many times. And yeah, it got easier, just being cynical. Checking out. But I also hated myself a lot more. I went from being a mοthеrfuckеr with a heart to just being a mοthеrfuckеr. But you know what? Giving a shit in a world where nobody gives a shit? It ain't soft. It's hard as hell… and that's the real me. [pause] And that's the real you, too.
[Butcher and Hughie are captured by a psychic shapeshifter named Synapse]
SSynapse
How are you two feeling?
Why don't you just fuck off outta my head and I'll tell ya.
SSynapse
I already know. You wanna rip me in two, which makes me a tiny bit erect, not gonna lie. But believe me… I'd rather not be in that rat's nest of yours. So much pain, regret and abject failure. Like with this fucking guy.
[Synapse's body twitches as he transforms into Joe Kessler]
SKSynapse/Kessler
[chuckles; sighs] I got a little bit of an erection myself. You miss me?
He ain't real. He's just fuckin' with us.
SKSynapse/Kessler
Come on, man. [to Hughie] Joseph Alan Kessler. I served with Bill. Actually, you know what? More than that. Billy and I… [makes a hand heart gesture] we were besties. See, the problem you're having is that curdled cottage cheese you got inside your skull that remembers me as being some sort of a sociopath head case. That hurts my feelings, Billy. It’s not true. That wasn’t me. No, that was always you. You know, sometimes, Billy’d get real friggin’ blitzed. All quiet and sullen. And then he’d admit that he had this darkness inside of him. A shark that couldn’t stop. [pause] You see, Billy had no conscience. So, I was there to be that for him. Pull him back when he went too far. [to Butcher] Does that ring any bells?
Just ignore him, Hughie. It’s just psyops bollocks. That’s all. Just bollocks.
SKSynapse/Kessler
Do you remember when the night finally came to cash that check? Panjshir Valley. We were there to take out this mid-level ISIS clown. Billy got us into the compound. The problem is that we got this call that this asshat had a hundred men that were minutes behind us. Now, any sane command leader, they’d pull their men out. Make sure they were safe. But not Billy, no. See, Billy got that little glint in his eye. Wouldn’t give the order, so I got in his face. I screamed at him, "The target’s not worth it. The target wasn’t worth it!" [beat] Nothing, so I popped him one. Smacked him right there on the forehead, got him this sweet little scar you see. But Billy? Well, Billy didn’t budge. No. And sure as shit… we were surrounded. Good news is that old Butcher, he got his target. The issue was that Billy was the only member of the unit to walk out of there alive. So, he will ask you to pull him back. But the truth of the matter is, is you are fucked when you get in his way. Lot of dead canaries in old Billy Butcher’s coal mine. Anyway… Good luck with that, Hughie.
Why don’t you just piss off, you fuckin' nonce? We ain’t tellin' you shite.
SKSynapse/Kessler
You don’t have to tell me “shite.” I know everything. I’ve been inside your cassava the whole fucking time. I’ve just been distracting you. Let’s see, Sage is in an abandoned school in Erie, Pennsylvania, and Kimiko? Seriously? You’re gonna saddle her with Soldier Boy’s power blast? Are you fucking insane? [laughs] Homelander is gonna love this shit. Alright, boys. I’ll see you soon.
[Frenchie taps on a wall to divert Homelander away from Kimiko and Sister Sage. Homelander immediately comes to Frenchie and sees him inside the homemade uranium chamber.]
The Frenchman. [opens the door] Where are the others? Where's Sage?
[Frenchie says nothing and smirks while giving Homelander the middle finger]
Oh, ha-ha-ha. [pause; walks into the chamber] You don't really think you're gonna recreate Soldier Boy's little party trick, do you?
We already did... and they're coming for you as we speak. So gargle my hairy nutsack, you Nazi putain. And gargle on this.
[Frenchie flips a lever up to expose Homelander and himself to radiation. They both groan in pain as their faces start blistering.]
Look at you. I bet you never danced a day in your life.
