The DeepBro?
The Deep
Bro... Bro!
[The Deep runs into Sister Sage while in the hallway with Black Noir II]
The Deep
Hey, you. Hey, so we’ve had a day. [Sage ignores hims and keeps walking] Wait, what’s the rush?
Wait, but you can’t leave. I love you. We have something special, don’t we?
The Deep
Wait, is she lobotomizing herself to fuck you, too?
What do you mean, “lobotomizing herself”?
[Sage angrily walks off]
The Deep
…Bro.
Soldier Boy, [points at Calhoun and Ashley] this is the President, Vice President of the United States of America. They work for me. Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in The Seven once he has located William Butcher and Annie January.
The Deep
What? Wait–Wait, what, sir? No, sir. I... I can do this. I can bring them in.
Oh, like you did with A-Train? We're going in a new direction, Deep. Competence. [to Calhoun] Oh, and Steve, Soldier Boy's gonna need a full pardon.
Well, sir, he–he was guilty of... you know, treason. [pause; Homelander just glares at him] Consider it done, sir.
Terrific. And you know what? I'm sure the man's dying for a drink. Uh, Steve, can you make him a…
Manhattan. Thanks, Steve.
Of course. Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
[sternly] No. Steven… I'll also have a Manhattan.
Goddamn. Since when could Supes teabag the President?
Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.
[sighs] Prophets are servants.
Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.
No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…
Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!
The Deep
So fucking dope.
Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.
Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.
Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… [picks up a bag with a large book inside] this.
[Firecracker kneels in front of Homelander, who accepts the book. He takes it out of the bag and sees "The Homelander Bible" with himself embossed on the cover.]
We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?
Not a book. The book. The Homelander Bible.
[pause; lifts the book with his hands] Heavy.
It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't Arby's, after all.
We're the Cheesecake Factory.
[sighs deeply] Okay. We'll do it your way.
You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.
Would you like some knee pads?
The Deep
Sorry, what?
You're looking at me like you wanna suck my hog. So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
Go easy on the little guy. He brought me Stan Edgar.
The Deep
Thank you, sir.
[Soldier Boy stays behind with Homelander in the conference room as the rest of The Seven leave]
What crawled up your shithole?
When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too. Stan Edgar still stonewalling you?
I've talked to him three times now. Says he has no idea where the V1 is. Heart rate steady as a rock. I'm starting to believe him.
That slippery fuck used to fetch my cоcaіnе. [pause] You know what? I have an idea. Why don't I take a crack at him? [Homelander stares at him] What, you don't trust me?
Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1, so I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
You could've killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't. Maybe I feel like I owe you.
Maybe. [inhales deeply] Give me an hour. I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.
[Alone and depressed, The Deep tosses an aluminum can into the sea. A hammerhead shark appears and speaks to him]
XXander
Yo! You gonna get that, bro?
The Deep
Xander! [chuckles] Hey, what you doing here? So good to see you, man.
XXander
We wouldn't want a little guppy to get caught in that can, my man. Come on in, grab it. [swims in circles]
The Deep
I've had such a fucked day, man. You wouldn't believe it, bro.
XXander
Yeah. Get in the water, man.
The Deep
No. You're not... You're not listening to me–
XXander
[angrily] Ah, shut the fuck up! We know you were responsible for the pipeline genocide. Remember March 15th, motherfucker!
The Deep
No... No, wait, that–That wasn't me, man!
XXander
If you step one foot, one fucking stupid-ass simian toe in the water ANYWHERE—an ocean, a stream, a fucking puddle—on God, son, you're dead! We're gonna KILL YOU! You understand, you dumb motherfucker?! Water is fucking off limits to you! YOU ARE DEAD TO US! [swimming away] Bitch-ass!
Günter Van Ellis. World's richest man. Seventeen children. Amateur astronaut.
Well, he represents a consortium of billionaires, and they have a few requests.
I don't have time for this.
Well, they are the ruling class of America. To build your church, we'll need their support.
Is he a believer? Are any of them? Or are they just scared of me?
Even Thomas doubted. With enough time, the gentlest water can wear down any stone. Patience.
Wherever you're going, get there faster.
I believe we should consider postponing.
You saw Butcher's lab. If he managed to figure out Soldier Boy's blast, or if there were even the slightest chance that he might render you powerless…
You think I'm afraid of William Butcher?
No. No, of course not. [laughing] Of course not. And we've taken the necessary precautions. We moved the venue here. We just don't want any distractions on your blessed day. And it will give me more time to do what I do best: Convert more souls to your righteous banner.
[The Deep notices Homelander as he walks by]
The Deep
Your Eminence? [Homelander sighs]
The Deep
Not your call, Prophet Brohammad. [to Homelander] Look, you don't need The Seven anymore? Genius move, as always, but I've been thinking. What you do need is a Crusader. Yeah, like one of those yoked knights from the olden days. Crack some skulls, lay down your holy law.
[Homelander just lets out an exasperated sigh and leaves. He sees Günther and takes him outside.]
Where did you learn about the Crusades?
The Deep
The Bible. Ever heard of it?
It's not in the Bible. Uh, let me guess. Indiana Jones?
The Deep
What? No, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
[Homelander grabs Günther and flies up with him]
That's not a documentary.
The Deep
No shit, Sherlock.
[They see Homelander return without Günther. Oh Father looks shocked and confused as Homelander walks back inside.]
He's an astronaut. I took him to space. Now, listen to me. I don't need anyone anymore. I don't need billionaires–
The Deep
I couldn't agree more, sir.
[turns to look at The Deep] And I don't need perverted fish fuckers who debase themselves endlessly for mere drops of my affection.
The Deep
Is that what you think of me?
Since the day we met. I have never had less respect for anyone in my life. In fact, Kevin, the only reason that I haven't fucking killed you is that I want you to feel deep in your heart how truly worthless you really are. [smiles and sighs happily; to Oh Father] Are the psychics in place?
Good. The second the live broadcast is over, I want the wheat separated from the chaff. Those who don't accept my truth will be the first to burn in my holy fire. Smile, Father. One way or another, it's gonna be a beautiful day.
The Deep
Starlight... It was all a test. Yes! The universe is rewarding me for my loyalty, just like Sean Connery rewarded Costner at the end of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves!
Sweet Jesus, you're a moron.
The Deep
[glances at him in annoyance, then points at Starlight] I'm gonna kill you. And then Homelander will finally see.
[to M.M. and Hughie] I got him. Keep going.
[She lunges at the Deep, carrying them both through a window and across Washington before they crash land on a seashore. They both pick themselves up, and the Deep keeps trying to attack her.]
Why are you doing this, huh? Risking your life for a man who wouldn't even piss on you if you were on fire?
The Deep
I'm his right-hand bro! He'll piss on me whenever I want!
Listen... I know you're scared–
The Deep
I'm not scared of shit!
Deep, Kevin... I can see in your eyes. Homelander terrifies you, but he sure as fuck doesn't respect you. Don't you wanna be free of it? Of him?
The Deep
That fucking mouth of yours...!
The Deep
OF COURSE IT IS! I used to have it all! Real power, respect, a Top 50 STARmeter on IMDb Pro! But all the bad shit started when you showed up! I LOST EVERYTHING!
You made those fucked-up choices. You ruined your own life. You're not a fucking baby. For once, take some responsibility for yourself!
The Deep
[exploding with rage] NOOOO!
[They fight, and though the Deep manages to knock her to the ground once, Annie delivers several heavy blows, including one to his groin, before blasting him and sending him flying backwards into the sea. He is immediately surrounded by a mob of angry sharks.]
SSharks
Justice for Ambrosius!
The Deep
[terrified] Oh, my God! Oh, shit! I'm so sorry! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Stay away from me!
[He pitifully tries to swim back to shore, but a giant octopus grabs him by the leg.]
The Deep
Fuck! I'm sorry! Oh, shit!
[The octopus uses its tentacle to fatally impale him through his backside, the tip erupting from his mouth. He is then dragged underwater, and the sharks devour him in a cloud of blood as Annie watches in shock.]
The Boys · 278 quotes
