A character in The Apprentice
Played by Lord Alan Sugar
The Apprentice · 659 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The Apprentice: in 91 of its 659 quotes
Sir Alan Sugar[to the candidates, in the first-ever boardroom meeting] As far as I'm concerned, what I have in front of me here are fourteen of Britain's best prospects. Quite a few thousand applied for this job: a job with me, a job that's gonna bring you a six-figure salary. But to get that job, you're gonna have to demonstrate to me your skills and leadership, business acumen, shrewdness, the lot.
Sir Alan SugarYou should have stuck to Mac Man like shit to a blanket.
Sir Alan Sugar(in the first "With regret" firing) Sebastian, you're the one that's worried me the most today. People tend to seem to take the characteristics of their products I think, I personally have always been a very "Bang, bang, get stuff made, that's Amstrad." That's me, good quality products, a bit rough and ready. I see you more as a Cartier and Rolls Royce man to be perfectly frank and it's with regret that I'm going to tell you: You're Fired.
Sir Alan SugarPaul, why shouldn't I fire you?
Sir Alan Sugar(to Ben before firing him) You say in your CV "in my career I win all the time." Well I tell you, this time you haven't won. 'Cause this time, You're Fired!
Sir Alan SugarViscoelastic foam? What a load of bollocks. What a pile of tat that is there, honestly. A lump of bloody foam for a hundred and fifty-four pounds. I'll tell you what son, you sell any of them, you're a bloody good salesman, that's all I can say. (about James and Saira's airbed choice, which then went on to sell extremely well)
Sir Alan SugarI've got your card marked. (to Syed)
Sir Alan SugarBen, name them. Two people that are coming back into this boardroom with you because one of you is gonna get fired.
Ben Stanberry: Well, I'm very disappointed by the lack of loyalty, they didn't stand up to be counted; to be a leader, they put me out there. I took up the challenge...
Sir Alan Sugar: I didn't ask you that question, I'm not looking for a lecture. Name the two people you'd think that didn't perform in this task, 'cause one of you is gonna get fired.
Ben Stanberry: Samuel and Syed.
Sir Alan SugarTuan, you're being very quiet and it don't rub off on me just sitting back and letting everyone hang themselves. If anyone's going to be fired amongst you gentlemen today, who would you pick?
Tuan Le: (instantly) Ben.
Sir Alan Sugar: (somewhat surprised) You would?
Tuan Le: Yes.
Sir Alan SugarI just don't know whether you're some sort of bloody nutter. (to Jo Cameron)
Sir Alan SugarDo I need another corporate lawyer? The answer is no. Karen, you're fired!
Sir Alan SugarWhat a shower. What a bloody shower! (about the losing team)
Sir Alan SugarI've set you lot a task and now have got to fire someone; quite frankly I'd like to get rid of the bleeding three of you. Tell me why I shouldn't get rid of you, now!
Syed Ahmed: Because I'm a winner, Sir Alan, that's why.
Sir Alan Sugar: You're not a bloody winner! You lost!
Syed Ahmed: I've learnt from my mistakes, and I've learnt from this, definitely, and this well never happen again.
Sir Alan Sugar: Business is not about come in, piss my money up the wall, "Oh, never mind, sorry you lost it, now you've learnt your lesson, you won't do it again."
Syed Ahmed: I've learnt life the hard way, from a young age.
Sir Alan Sugar: I hold you 100% responsible.
Syed Ahmed: And I put in 150%.
Sir Alan Sugar: I hold you 100% responsible!
Syed Ahmed: I stepped up to the mark, and I...
Sir Alan Sugar: I'm sorry, Syed, I hold you 100% responsible. But... (to Alexa) I warned you, I warned you severely about this. You have not come to the table today, I still don't understand what you did. He [Syed] should be going with you also... You're a very, very bad manager. You didn't manage this thing properly. You're a lightweight. You're fired! (brief pause) I'm really angry with this situation. Clear off!
(Alexa, Syed and Tuan get up and start to leave. Before walking out the door, Syed turns to Sir Alan)
Syed Ahmed: Thank you, Sir Alan, thank you for the opportunity. (leaves)
Sir Alan Sugar: Cheeky bastard. "Thank you for the opportunity."
Sir Alan Sugar(to Mani Sandher) You think you did a good job?
Mani Sandher: I did the best job I could.
Sir Alan Sugar: (to Invicta) How did we get on here then? How do you like having a lady operating you then? Any good?
(brief pause)
Don't all rush.
Tuan Le: Could be better.
Sir Alan Sugar: (to Alexa Tilley) You think you did a good job?
Alexa Tilley: I enjoyed it. I think we worked alright together as a team.
Sir Alan Sugar: Anything else you've got to say chaps?
Paul Tulip: I'd be very surprised if we won.
Sir Alan SugarIt was dictated to you? By who?
Syed Ahmed: By the chef.
Sir Alan Sugar: What, the chef said 'Buy 100 chickens'? (doubtfully) You sure?
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Apprentice pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.