Stuart Baggs quotes from The Apprentice

Dan Harris: What I did was manage the team that produced eleven hundred sausages.

Stuart Baggs: [Pressing keys on an invisible calculator] So, that's on a calculator...nought,

Lord Sugar: I had an offer like that from Nigeria once.

[take two, as Influenza] 'Don't worry, E.coli. Come an' 'ide down 'ere wiv me. No cleaner cleans this deep.' [whiny voice, as E.coli] 'Oh no, it's the Germ-o-nator! Urrrrgh!'

Lord Sugar: I don't need a night watchman.

Stuart Baggs: Listen, I will make you so proud of me.

Lord Sugar: Uh, I hear your enthusiasm you know? Great enthusiasm. A fly's got enthusiasm but it doesn't stop headbutting the window!

Stuart Baggs: Ok, well since I've been in this process I've had 10 weeks and let me tell you, every night I've been thinking of new business ideas that I really want to develop. Let's start a new company, and not only will you be able to put me in an existing one, I can run one for you. I want you to wake up in the morning, and check the bank balance and think "He has made me millions" and I won't be happy with myself unless I've done that for you.

Lord Sugar: That is such outrageous promises that you can't guarantee!

Stuart Baggs: I’m not a one-trick pony. I’m not a ten-trick pony. I’ve got a field of ponies waiting to literally run towards this.

Joanna Riley: What the hell is going on?

Chris Bates: Stuart, seriously, fuck off.

Stuart Baggs: Seriously, you fuck off, this is our pitch.

Chris Bates: It's not, this is the north area!

Stuart Baggs: Go on, hit me then.

Chris Bates: I'm not going to hit you, I'm just saying to get off our fucking patch!

Stuart Baggs: You mouth off, you mouth off, but why don't you back it up with something?

Chris Bates: Oh shut up, you fat twat. Why don't you fuck off down there? Fucking dickhead.

Stuart Baggs: That's not very professional, is it?

Joanna Riley: Just ignore him, he's not worth it!

Stuart Baggs: [to camera] It seems a bit weak if you've got to swear a lot, you know? Not very professional.