Claude Littner quotes from The Apprentice

Claude Littner

I'll talk about Lucinda if I may, Alan. She's a very intelligent, bright individual. No doubt highly skilled at what she does and I would think she'd be a disaster for you.

Paul Kemsley: I'll tell you a good point. If you're building a nice office for yourself and you want it lit beautifully with candles - nice smelling candles, good aroma therapy in the air, nice calm, perfect...

Karren Brady: Paul! That is unfair.

Claude Littner

What are the things you're going to offer Sir Alan?

Alex Wotherspoon: Like you say, I am 24 years old so...

Claude Littner: Can you not just answer a question?! I'm finding it very.. I mean, it's just how many times do I have to ask the same question before you actually give me an answer!

Claude Littner

(after Stuart puts his hand out to have it shaken)

Sir down please.

(reading from Stuart's CV) "I'm Stuart Baggs, The Brand"

Stuart Baggs: Yeah.

Claude Littner: What on Earth are you talking about?

Stuart Baggs: Well...

Claude Littner: You're a 21 year old kid. You're not a brand!

Stuart Baggs: Well I think, when you look at what a brand means, it is...

Claude Littner: No, don't tell me what a brand means, okay? You are not a brand, you're not a brand!

Stuart Baggs: I think I might be.

Claude Littner: Fine. Let's explore this a bit further then? Why would somebody, as successful, as innovative, as...

Stuart Baggs: Yeah?

Claude Littner: ...big a dreamer, as a brand, as you? Why would you want to have a job with Lord Sugar?

Stuart Baggs: Because at the minute, I'm a big fish in a small pond.

Claude Littner: You're not a big fish. You're not a big fish. You're not even a fish!

Stuart Baggs: (After the interview with Claude) Alright guys? Felt like I'd knocked on his door and said "Sorry Claude, I've run over your dog!"

Claude Littner

The trouble is, you're an arrogant...fool. However, I read your business plan. And, I was quite impressed.

Ricky Martin: Thank you Claude.

Claude Littner: I think it was interesting, I think it was well written. So it just puzzles me how you can write such nonsense, such rubbish...

Claude Littner

There are large, well establish companies in that space.

Neil Clough: Absolutely, yeah.

Claude Littner: They're going to go to their market leader.

Neil Clough: I'm going to compete with that!

Claude Littner:But you've got no chance!

Neil Clough: I have!

Claude Littner: No you don't!

Neil Clough: I definitely have!

Claude Littner:The market's full.

Neil Clough:I absolutely believe in my plan! I don't know whether I've been explaining it clearly...

Claude Littner: No, you're explaining it clearly. I hope I'm explaining it clearly how, how just ludicrous the whole idea is.

Neil Clough: It's something I know so...

Claude Littner: Something you know? That's crap!

Claude Littner

(to Solomon) This is my tenth year doing this, and I've got to say that when I read your application form and then when I read your CV, it filled me with pleasure. There were no boastful brags about how great you are and 'you're the greatest salesman' or 'you're the greatest everything', it was very, very mature, very nicely written, so from my point of view, that was a sheer pleasure.

Solomon Akhtar: Thanks so much for saying that.

Claude Littner: I've told you how pleased I was with your CV, and then I came on to actually look at the proposal that you're pitching for Lord Sugar, and frankly... it's a bloody disgrace! It's a bloody disgrace! In the 10 years I've done this, I've never seen something that's put together, two bloody pages with pictures on one page? What do you think you're coming here for? What do you think you're coming here for? You can leave. Goodbye.

Solomon Akhtar: Can I argue, can I just say...?

Claude Littner: There's nothing to argue! You've given me pictures of sailboats. You've given me pictures of sailboats, what am I gonna work on? Pictures of sailboats? What is that? What is that?

Solomon Akhtar: Those are logos, yeah, logos.

Claude Littner: You're taking the piss! Please leave. (after noticing Solomon going the wrong way). That's not the way out.

Solomon Akhtar: (whispering) Fucking hell...