Owl quotes from The Animals of Farthing Wood

Mr Vole

In brief Fox I ask you on the oath of Farthing Wood, did you or did you not eat my... mother?

Fox

On the oath of Farthing Wood, no. I did not.

Mr Vole

Well I don't believe you!

Fox

Oh what is the point.

Weasel

Am I missing something?

Owl

Fox stands accused of... of devouring Mrs Vole.

Weasel

Oh? How's that? I saw Scarface eating her!

Vixen

She was on Farthing Land. She should have been safe!

Weasel

Nobody's safe with him around!

Fox

You want us... all of us, to all go and live in the warden's cottage?

Badger

Yes, look at me! My fur's shiny, I'm well fed...

Owl

Not to say fat!

Badger

You could be like me!

Mr Hare

The old fool's off his trolley!

Owl

Gone soft... in the brain.

Kestrel

We couldn't go and live in a house!

Badger

No the birds, I'm afraid.

Kestrel

Ah! The Cat. No...

Badger

What do you say Fox?

Fox

I say you should go home and get some sleep! You'll feel better in the morning.

Badger

Oh I see, you think I'm rambling do you? Tch, I don't know why I bothered. Stayed in the warmth, food before me. Well, that'll teach me to think of my so-called friends, didn't even come to meet me.

Mole

But... we didn't know you were coming!

Badger

Huh!

Mole

Badger... where are you going?

Badger

Home, like Fox said! To the warden's house! (he leaves)

Vixen

Poor Badger.

Mr Hare

Excuse me, but I think this calls for a general meeting!

Did you say the warden's gone?

Owl

No... I said the moon was made of green cheese.

(pauses) Is it really?

Fox

(about the poachers) I say we set up a watch.

Badger

Good idea Fox.

Kestrel

I'll help.

Owl

You? What good are you? Your wing's damaged.

Kestrel

I don't see with my wings Owl, and my eyes are fine.

Owl

Fieldmouse might have something to say about that!

Owl

I saw some carrots. Shall I fetch them too?

(While stuffing his face with cabbage) Please Owl. Now my mate's carrying young we need much more food than before!

Mrs Rabbit

I'm the one carrying the young, not you!

Owl

May I say on behalf of all everyone gathered, how gratified we all are on this joyous occasion. Fox and Vixen have always been dear to all of our hearts and-

Hear hear!

Owl

I haven't finished yet!

Fox

Least said Owl...

Owl

...soonest mended, yes.

Owl

The poachers have returned once again to reassert their mastery over us. They are as gods with the power of life and death in their human hands while we mere creatures must submit.

Fox

They're shooting anything that moves!

Vixen

The warden could stop them.

Owl

He doesn't even know about the poachers, so he's hardly going to be out looking for them isn't he?

Vixen

Fox?

Owl

Dreamer! Stay with the others!

(Only line) Sorry Owl!

Owl

Nice day for spying Scarface?

Scarface

(Hits his head from under a branch) OW! (He snarls)

Owl

Or would you call it natural curiosity?

Scarface

I call it none of your business you old ratbag.

Owl

Manners! (She hoots which attracts the attention of Fox and Vixen)

Scarface

Shut up! Shut up!

Owl

As the revered sage said, "He who has run once, will run twice".

Fox

What revered sage? The White Stag?

Owl

No. Me!

Vixen

Keep away from my cubs!

Lady Blue

As if I'd want anything to do with such common riff raff.

Vixen

Then what are you doing on Farthing Land? You wouldn't dare insult my cubs if my mate were here.

Lady Blue

Yes, well he isn't is he? And lucky for you, neither's mine.

Vixen

Are you threatening me? (Bold growls)

Lady Blue

What kind of mother leaves her cubs unattended.

Vixen

A mother with friends. (cuts to Badger petting the other three cubs)

Owl

(To Lady Blue) Where are your cubs?

Bold

Ow! (Vixen snarls)

Lady Blue

You're going to have trouble with that one. (she leaves)

Vixen

Dear brave Bold, you do have more courage than sense.

Owl

I told you before, Weasel is working for Scarface.

Fox

No she's not. Weasel saved my skin as a matter of fact! She was the one who got the stag to come along.

Owl

There's an old saying Fox. "It is easy to persuade a person of something he wants to believe".

Fox

Yes? Well I know an old saying too Owl. "Credit where credit's due". Well done Weasel.

Fox

Scarface! I should have dealt with him earlier.

Vixen

The hares weren't on Farthing Land. He's within his rights.

Fox

He did it to spite us.

Weasel

Oh he's very spiteful, isn't he Measley?

Measley

Ooh yeah, I'd say spite incarnate he is.

Vixen

You had no proof.

Owl

But what to doooo? To dooo?

Mr Hare

I know what I'm going to do... I'm bringing my family back to live on Farthing Land that's what.

Owl

(about Scarface) He who lives by stealth shall die by stealth.

Fox

I see. So you're saying he killed Dreamer in such a way none of us knew it was him? Now we've got to kill him in the same way.

Owl

Did I say that?

Weasel

You know you did you pompous old bird!

Owl

If you're bored why don't you go and see what Adder's up to?

Whistler

Why? I say, what's going on?

Owl

Let's just say Scarface's days are numbered.