The Animals of Farthing Wood · Season 2, Episode 3
You're part of the oath now Cat! From now on, we'll look after you!
I've already sampled your precious oath, thank you very much.
May I offer my apologies. So embarassing!
You meant well Kestrel.
(Hisses) Not to me she didn't. Ouch!
Sorry.
I know. Don't say it. You mean well too (!).
And you can shut up! Call that sympathy?!?
No. I call it plain annoying!
Quick! Take cover! (Mr Fieldmouse and Mr Vole disappear, but Mrs Vole doesn't budge)
I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm on my way home when I hear this horrible din! So, I come to investigate and what do I find? You. Now can I give you a word of advice, Weasel. Instead of winding everybody else up, why don't you just wind down?
In brief Fox I ask you on the oath of Farthing Wood, did you or did you not eat my... mother?
On the oath of Farthing Wood, no. I did not.
Well I don't believe you!
Oh what is the point.
Am I missing something?
Fox stands accused of... of devouring Mrs Vole.
Oh? How's that? I saw Scarface eating her!
She was on Farthing Land. She should have been safe!
Nobody's safe with him around!
Eating mice, are you?
Er, er, yes! Want one?
I prefer live prey.
Ahahaha! Er...
Aren't they Farthing Wood mice? Tut tut tut!
No, and anyway Mr Scarface, sir, they died of a cold so there. Which is more than can be said for the vole you ate!
Ah, so you saw that did you?
Yes I did! And Mr Scarface, I'm afraid I have to tell you that particular vole was a friend of mine - a Farthing Wood vole!
(menacingly) So, what are you going to do about it?
Er... nothing.
Did you happen to tell anyone you saw me eating a Farthing Wood vole Weasel?
Are you quite sure about that?
That's good, because if you had told anyone, Scarface would have killed you. Just like I killed your friend. GOT IT?
You want us... all of us, to all go and live in the warden's cottage?
Yes, look at me! My fur's shiny, I'm well fed...
Not to say fat!
You could be like me!
The old fool's off his trolley!
Gone soft... in the brain.
We couldn't go and live in a house!
No the birds, I'm afraid.
Ah! The Cat. No...
What do you say Fox?
I say you should go home and get some sleep! You'll feel better in the morning.
Oh I see, you think I'm rambling do you? Tch, I don't know why I bothered. Stayed in the warmth, food before me. Well, that'll teach me to think of my so-called friends, didn't even come to meet me.
But... we didn't know you were coming!
Huh!
Badger... where are you going?
Home, like Fox said! To the warden's house! (he leaves)
Poor Badger.
Excuse me, but I think this calls for a general meeting!
What do you want? Are you sick again?
No! I... I've come home!
You're a wild animal. You don't belong here.
You manage!
My kind have learned to purr and rub over man's legs for generations! Could you learn overnight?
But you're my friend! You could teach me!
Oh go home you stupid creature!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Animals of Farthing Wood pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
