TV show quotes
Characters
Alvin19 quotes
Theodore13 quotes
Simon10 quotes
KMKing Mallegan4 quotes
BBoss3 quotes
CChipmunks3 quotes
Most scenes together: Dave & Alvin (16), Dave & Theodore (11), Alvin & Theodore (11)
What'll we do?
I don't know.
What do you wanna do?
[looking up] I don't know... wanna build somethin'?
[to Alvin] What?
[shrugs] I don’t know.
[shrugs] How about a bird house?
Heheh yeah! Maybe we could get a bird to play with.
[to Theodore] Sure! A robin!
A bluebird!
What's the matter with an eagle?
Dave, I gotta borrow your skis.
[casually] Sure, Alvin. [confused] My skis? Alvin, why do you want my skis?
I'm gonna shove Stanley off the roof!
Hold it, Alvin. You can't shove Stanley off the roof! And who is Stanley?
He's my eagle.
Come here, Alvin. You have no eagle. Eagles live only in high mountains. [as he lectures Alvin, Stanley bounces up and down by the window] They're never where people are. They fly only at an elevation of, uh... 14... [shakes his head in shock, and looks out the window, seeing Stanley] What was that?
That's Stanley, the eagle!
[terrified] EAGLE?! THAT'S A WILD EAGLE!!! I'll call the police! Now, don't panic, Alvin! Operator, emergency! P-Police?! There's a wild eagle in my yard! That's right! Wild eagle! Alvin, don't go outside. I KNOW they live only in high places! Alvin, come back here, where's Simon and Theodore? I KNOW they never-- I tell you, there's an eagle! Yeah! A 40-foot wingspan eagle!
[pointing] Arrest that eagle!
[scene cuts to Alvin standing innocently next to the birdhouse] What eagle?
Why that eagle! [looks, but doesn’t see Stanley] right... [pause] Alvin, where's that eagle? [getting mad] Alvin! Tell them about the eagle!!
Eagle? Eagles live only in high mountains, they're never in-
Now cut that out! Tell them about Stanley!
[innocently looks around] Stanley?
Yeah! Stanley the Eagle, you know! [pointing at the birdhouse] And! That's! His! House!
[bemused, while the cop on the left points] "Stanley the eagle and that's his house."
Come with us Seville.
[they take Dave away] You've been making too many of them nutty records.
[the three Chipmunks watch Stanley fly in circles above] Now wait a minute! Alvin, tell them about Stanley! Tell them about Stanley the eagle! Alvin!? Alvin!? ALVIN!!!
Strike one!
What do you mean, "strike"?!
That's "str-" for "str-", and "-ike" for "-ike", "strike"!
Yes, surely, of course.
Strike two!
"Strike two"?! Obviously, you are blind as a bat, sir.
KILL THE BUM!
Strike three! You're out!
Out?! Why, you!
[The umpire and the fan get into a fight, with Clyde and Leonardo getting caught in the middle of it.]
Ladies and gentlemen, I hope to be with you next week. But in the meantime, let me point out that relaxation is an art. One must work at it. Voila!
[talking quickly] Sam Valiant, Private Nose, at your service, check! The right nose in the right place at the right time! The Valiant nose strikes again and the case is solved! There's your culprit! [handcuffs Alvin]
Hey! I'm Alvin!
Sam Valiant does it again! Cough up the tape, boy, and let's be quick about it!
Stop, that's Alvin!
Definitely the criminal type, check. Low forehead, check, eyes too close together, sullen look, check.
That's Alvin! He's not the thief, he lives here!
Check.
Please remove those handcuffs.
[frees Alvin] You can't fool the nose, sir, check! [sniffs] Smells definitely like recording tape.
Mr. Valiant, this is a recording room.
Check.
It's full of tape.
Check.
Even I could smell of tape.
Check, confession is good for the soul, boy! Cooperate, and law will be lenient! Remember, anything you say may be held against you.
Listen, Sam, I wrote that tape!
Double incrimination! Wrote the tape and stole the tape! Charged on two counts!
Oh, no.
Leave Dave alone!
Yeah!
You've got a bum nose, mister!
That's a very unfortunate reference, boy! Never insult the nose! The eyes do not see what they think they blink, the ears are misleading, the feet go wrong, but the nose knows! The nose has heart, the nose has soul! Hail the noble nose!
Okay, Mr. Valiant, you have a splendid nose, now will you tell it to find my tape?!
Check.
Mr. Valiant!
Don't bother me, boy.
I found the tape!
Forget it, boy! Clues, find clues, look for clues!
[surprised] The tape!
[They run over to Theodore.]
George built a nest!
Bird on the tape, tape in the hat, the nose comes through, and the case is closed. [takes the tape in the hat] Here's your tape, check, and here's my bill, check, send me a check, check, never underestimate the power of the nose, check! [cluelessly puts the hat with the tape over his head; Dave reads the bill, which totals up to $125] The nose knows all, sees all, and hears all, check!
[Sam Valiant leaves with the hat and the tape over his head.]
He's got your tape, Dave!
And George's nest! Call him back, Dave!
[Dave looks around the room, which is totally wrecked from Valiant's search.]
No, I couldn't stand it! I'll re-tape the check-- Tape, check! Check the tape-- Ohhh!
[Clyde has flooded the room while trying to take a bath.]
Oh, uh, Leonardo, open the drain. Unleash the drain. The drain, Leonardo! What do you mean, I forgot to invent the drain?! Ridiculous, Leonardo, I never forget! You forget! Folks, I hope to be back with you next week, but in the meantime, I must invent swimming.
Well, hi, Simon.
Hi.
Theodore.
[giggles] Hi!
Alvin, I see you've got here early, and you're rehearsing the band. That's very good. You know I would-- What's that great, big, expensive orchestra waiting for over there? Oh, boy! I'm sure glad they don't belong to... Alvin? Alvin. Say something, Alvin!
Everybody ready? Violins, saxophones, trumpets?
You mean you hired all those musicians?
You bet I did!
You know how much a 50-piece orchestra costs?!
Ready, boys? [taps his baton]
Wait a minute, you don't need a 50-piece orchestra to play for three chipmunks--! [the orchestra starts playing loudly]
Alvin, will you cut it out?! What do you think we're gonna pay this orchestra with, chestnuts?! Now listen to--
Slow down, buddy. I absolutely cannot understand a single word you're saying.
You can't understand a word I'm saying? YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD I'M SAYING?! Simon, Theodore, will you cut out that "la, la, la" and listen to me?! ORCHESTRA, WILL YOU PLEASE GO HOME?! ALVIN, STOP LEADING THAT ORCHESTRA! ALVIN! ALVIN...!
[In the end, Dave decides to throw all his money out of his wallet at the orchesta.]
I have come on behalf of a most worthy cause, which I am sure you will want to support. I represent the the Ladies of the Square, that's Society for Quality and Universal Appreciation of Refined Enterprises, namely, "music".
[shocked to see the ostrich sitting on top of Dave's car] Great Scott, officer, look at that!
[with his back turned] I know, it's that guy who writes those nutty records.
[At the gas station.]
Fill 'er up.
Which one, sir?
The egg, of course!
Say! Aren't you the guy who writes those nutty records?
Never mind that, just fill 'er up!
[When the boys and Dave are held up at traffic, in the car next to them, a boy, named Wilbur, is surprised to see the ostrich.]
Mama, look!
Wilbur, don't stare. It's only that man who writes those nutty records.
Alvin, you've disgraced me for the last time. It's bad enough tricking me into buying this car, but I'm not going to play chauffeur to that ostrich! I'll be the laughing stock of the--
[The ostrich gulps excitedly when she sees the light turn green.]
[mistaking the ostrich for a car behind him] Well, stop honking and come on around!
You're very prudent, Mr. Seville. No car should be without insurance. Is that a car, sir?
That's it, right there.
[referring to the ostrich] Is that part of the equipment?
Unfortunately, yes.
[looking through his manual] Insure... car without ostrich... Yes. [the ostrich gulps] Car with ostrich... No.
Couldn't you make it a package deal, car and ostrich?
[continues to flip through the manual] There's nothing in the book that covers car and ostrich, Mr. Seville.
Can't I even have fire insuance?
Mr. Seville, ostriches are highly flammable. Good day, sir. And don't drive that car without insurance. It's illegal. Uh, by the way, aren't you the man who--
[irritated] YEAH!!!
[The Chipmunks are watching TV, when Dave comes over and shuts it off.]
Hey, Dave! What's the idea?!
I'll tell you what's the idea. The idea is no more TV until you get that ostrich off the car!
But she's hatching it!
Alvin, that ostrich couldn't hatch anything out of that car if she sat on it for a thousand years! Either you get that bird off that car, or no more TV!
You mean, I can't watch me?!
No, not for a year!
But, Dave!
Make that two years!
No TV for two years?! Wowee!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Alvin Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.