Jimmy, are you sure your mom wants us to drive her car?
Carl, I'm at least 75 years old. I think I can make my own decision.
Hey! I know what you're doing! You're trying to take me to the nursing home! [pounds on the car's window] Let me out! Let me out!
Sheen, careful! This car's going an excess of 7 miles an hour.
[They park into a parking lot at the Candy Bar]
You know, when I was a kid, the sky was bluer! And a quarter would buy you groceries for a week!
Gas planet. Does anyone remember what we drove down here to get?
Well, I'd like a canary to talk to while I watch TV and eat soup.
[sees a titanium and gift card store across the street] Ha! Titanium! That's it! [walks slowly to the store]
I think Jimmy wants us to follow him.
Yeah. 'Course I always wanted to try the senior's buffet at the Candy Bar.
Right behind you, my wrinkled friend.
Hey, Oldilocks, what's the big idea, you and your bingo buddy takin' all the rice pudding from the buffet?
It says "Seniors Eat Dessert Free"!
You're supposed to buy an entree first!
We did. I had a hamburger in here yesterday. [he and Sheen laugh] Oh, my spleen.
[Meanwhile, at the titanium and gift cards store…]
Now, what was it I wanted? Something starting with a "T." Tostadas, turpentine?
Well, hey, old-timer. I like the way you're wearing your pants. I've been thinking of wearing mine more like that, maybe growing out my nose hair a little bit. You look familiar.
Oh, no, I'm just a strange old man, not your son after screwing up an experiment.
[chuckles] I know. You remind me of my father, except you're not always saying, "Huey, I told you, toothpaste isn't food."
Not possible. I don't have any family.
What? Oh, well, that's terrible. Come on. Come with me, I'll get you a nice home-cooked meal.
B-but I can't. I have to buy something with a "T."
I'll get you a nice cup of tea.
Here's your dinner. I put it in the blender first so the chewing doesn't tire you out.
So what did you do before you retired, old-timer?
I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing now, but I think it's real important.
Well, you know, maybe if we guess, it'll jog your memory. Let's see. Did it involve swinging heavy things?
Well, that eliminates lumberjack and executioner.
[Last lines]
Carl, what are you eating?
Just some prune whip from your lab.
Carl, there wasn't any prune whip. That's my experimental truth telling serum!
Oh, Jimmy that's ridic- [snaps to truth mode] I stole Jimmy's toast the other day. Sometimes, I dream about girls.
I don't think Ultralord exists...
LALALALALA! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!
My mom is really 42. I just ripped-
How on earth did they escape?
Well, lets see... The kid’s got an I.Q of 210 and the other one is a top-spy. Oh, I wonder!
Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady.
I'm over 18, I can do what I want. You're not the boss of me.
You mind your father for once. After them!
This is my 27th greatest invention ever. Behold, the Neutronic Monster Maker!
Simply select a monster, step under the cone of creation, and it'll realign your molecules to make you look like that monster- down to each horrifying atom.
Cool! But Sheen, you got to promise that when you're scary, you won't scare me.
I've downloaded every monster imaginable. I have 102 different monsters to choose from. Here are your choices. [clears throat] A werewolf…
That's it- I want to be the wolf guy!
Sheen, I have 101 other monsters.
I know, Jimmy, but it's been my lifelong dream to be covered in hair.
All right, werewolf it is. What about you, Carl? The Hunchback of Notre Dame?
The Phantom of the Opera?
No, I don't like his wardrobe. I'm more of a summer. [gasps] Who's the guy with the cape?
Yeah, he has a cape. I want to be Dracula!
All right, Dracula and a werewolf it is.
VCVampire Carl
I want more! I need blood!
VCVampire Carl
Must have blood! Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make. I must join them! [changes into his bat form and flies away] Bye, you guys! See you later!
That was weird. But totally awesome! I wanna turn into a bat! I wanna fly! Make me a bat, Jimmy! Make me a bat!
I didn't do that! Carl just changed into a vampire bat on his own.
But it's Halloween. What do you expect?
The monster maker must've mutated Carl's molecular structure on a subatomic level, altering his DNA!
And now again in English.
I can't believe Carl and Sheen turned into a real vampire and werewolf! I've got to capture them and turn them back. Goddard, access vampire data so I know what I'm dealing with. [Goddard does so] "Vampires feed on the blood of the living. They can turn their victims into vampires and are repelled by garlic. They can only be destroyed by a wooden stake driven into their heart." What have you got on werewolves?
[dressed as a fortune teller; mysteriously] Even a man who is pure of heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, and the autumn moon is bright.
Uh… hi, Miss Fowl. How do you know about werewolves?
I was married to one, but that's a story for another day.
Uh, anything else I should know?
Well, they can turn other people into werewolves by biting them, and they can only be destroyed by a silver…
Cane, spoon, hairbrush- anything else silver. Okay, Happy Halloween. Don't forget to floss.
VCVampire Carl
Look into my eyes. I mean, if you don't mind.
VCVampire Carl
Look into my eyes!
[being hypnotized] Yes, master.
VCVampire Carl
What is your blood type?
VCVampire Carl
Mmm, how positively delicious. [hisses and bites her neck as she screams, turning her into a vampire]
