[reacting to what Kitty cooked for him in light of his health problems] This isn't food – this is what food eats!
“Eric's Panties” · Season 3, Episode 6
In this episode: Eric Forman (2), Michael Kelso (2), Fez (2), Donna Pinciotti (2), Midge Pinciotti (2), Red Forman (1)
[Donna faces Shelly over panties found in Eric's car]
Hey, next time you fool around with someone else's boyfriend, why don't you take your panties when you're done?!
SShelly
Those aren't mine! Mine are white, and cotton, with a little pink rose on the front.
[Eric, Fez, and Kelso visualize the panties before Donna snaps them out of the daydream]
So these are some other girl's panties?!
Whoa-whoa-whoa. No offense, Donna- [to Eric] but dude, you're on fire!
SShelly
You know what Eric, I don't need this. [Walks out of the Hub, but looks back at Eric] Oh, and by the way, your car smells like cheese.
Donna, look, you have to believe me, I have no idea whose panties those are.
[walks in] Donna, [takes the panties] those panties are mine.
ERIC!! Oh, oh....[kneels together with Fez and 'worships' him] YOU ARE A GOD! [raises arms again] A GOD, I SAY!
[sets Midge aside] Mom, why were your panties in the Vista Cruiser?
[interrupts Midge] And please be as specific!
Donna, when you've been together as long as your father and I have, you need to do creative things in creative places. [Kelso and Fez stand up, cringing at the thought]
SShelly
Doesn't your girlfriend mind you spending so much time with me?
Well, no. Apparently, she's thrilled about it.
SShelly
Well, she's crazy. Because if I was your girlfriend, I would wanna kiss you all the time.
Really?
[Shelly kisses Eric, who quickly breaks away]
Whoa! Hey, come on, lady! I'm spoken for! [pause; Shelly stares at him] Wow!
[Kelso and Fez run into the Hub]
Hey, did we miss anything?
What? God, no! You didn't miss anything!
[The guys see Donna walk inside]
Alright, people! Let's back up! Give 'em some room here!
Hey, Donna. Hi, hello.
Don't "Hey, Donna. Hi, hello," me! I trusted you, and you cheated on me with this slut!
Donna, I don't think–
SShelly
Excuse me?!
Yeah, I said it! You want some of this?! Come on!
Donna, hey, whatever you think happened–
I know what happened. [holds up panties] I found these in your car!
Panties?
A-ha. So he admits they are panties.
[to Shelly] Hey, next time you fool around with someone else's boyfriend, why don't you take your panties when you're done?!
SShelly
Those aren't mine! Mine are white, and cotton, with a little pink rose on the front.
[Eric, Fez, and Kelso visualize the panties before Donna snaps them out of the daydream]
So these are some other girl's panties?!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. No offense, Donna... [to Eric] but dude, you're on fire!
SShelly
You know what, Eric? I don't need this. [walks out of the Hub, but looks back at Eric] Oh, and by the way, your car smells like cheese.
Donna, look, you have to believe me. I have no idea whose panties those are.
[walks in] Donna! [takes the panties] Those panties are mine.
ERIC!! OH! OH...[kneels together with Fez and 'worships' him] YOU ARE A GOD! [raises arms again] A GOD, I SAY!
[pulls Midge aside] Mom, why were your panties in the Vista Cruiser?
[interrupts Midge] And please be as specific!
Donna, when you've been together as long as your father and I have, you need to do creative things in creative places.
[Kelso and Fez stand up and cringe]
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