What deck are you on, Mr. Higginbottom?
The top. Always the top.
S1 E11
George used to say to me...
Yes, Mr. Higginbottom?
Don't rush me woman.
This was a normal horse, now it's a miniture horse
Yeah, well I'm a miniture clown!
S2 E21
I wanted to go to the toilet, do you know what the waiter said? It's closed for the winter.
ADAnh Do
Well don't you know if you go when it's to cold it can damage your bits.
The health inspector is here what should I tell him?
AAnh
Tell him not to pee because it's to cold.
Please state your names.
AAnh
Sir Michael with the big sword.
Sir Guy of Sebastian.
Darren the Nitpicky, and it's an oval table not a round table, I'm a bit dissapointed.
CWCal Wilson
Sir Lady Brian the Boy of Lady.
You are going to fight the enemy territory of...
TTony
Mulgrave.
What are you fighting for?
TTony
Ah... Brasher's record voucher.
Do you have anything that's low fat?
DEDailan Evans
(Laughs.) You're jokin' aren't ya, um I mean yep yes we do, ahhh we have a straw.
ABAndrew Bayly
We were watching television when we heard a screech of tyres and a bang!
Yeah, that was me!
Are you a learner driver?
[holding up an L-plate] Nah, I'm a legend!
[as Michelle, Bob's wife] I feel like we are drifting apart. There's no communication. He's always out with his mates or at home drinking in front of the television.
[As a marriage guidance counselor] How do you respond to that, Gary?
That's a problem, apparently. Make of that what you will.
How would you describe your love life?
I think it's terrific! It's a shame Michelle isn't involved in it.
[as a pharmaceutical doctor, asked to come up with a slogan] No more gas, it's a flact.
Thank God you're here, I was knocking for hours!
If you are a barbecue out there, I think it's very important to know that you will be caught at some stage.
AGAndrew G
I am Sister Andrea the Ever-So Chaste.
I am Sister Beyonce the Jiggy.
JSJo Stanley
I am Sister 2 Sister, the Pop Group.
ABAlan Brough
I'm Sister Bob...the gassy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Thank God You're Here pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.