Akmal Saleh quotes from Thank God You're Here

I want you to stand and state your name. Who are you?

Glenn Robbins

Um... Ken. Ken the... Ken the conqueror.

You sir?

Akmal Saleh

Vicilious Demericus. But I’m also known as Craig.

Fifi Box

Sally Bacterious.

Sally. You have a strange voice for a viking warrior.

Fifi

I do. I do. Some like it though.

Good, sit mighty Sally. And finally...

Frank

I’m... I’m Ken as well. But I’m Ken, the one who tried to conquer some stuff and didn’t work out.

You have discovered a new method to navigate the mighty waters.

Fifi

I thought what we could do is just put the boat in the water, grab an oar, see what happens.

I like it.

Akmal

We did this, but we forgot to get in the boat. And then the boat went... next time we actually got the boat and went in it, and we thought that was much more effective.

Glenn

Let’s just say, she’s not great at coming up with ideas. She’s much better, Ken, and I think you’ll agree when I say this, at making love.

Ken the non-conqueror, but Ken the wise, tell me, some say the earth is round.

Frank

Ha!

Some say the earth is flat. But you say it is neither. Why?

Frank

Well, I’ve got a hunch. Because I think it’s like a big skateboard ramp and you head off up into the nothingness, do a bit of a trick, come back. That didn't make any sense, let’s get into the raping!

Glenn

Also, he’s not great with the ideas.

Enough! We only have time to pray now. And we must pray to mighty Thor, mighty Oden, please I ask of thee, give me wisdom.

I ask of thee strength. (Points at Glenn.)

Glenn

I ask of thee…

Akmal

He’s not great with ideas either!

This was a normal horse, now it's a miniture horse

Akmal Saleh

Yeah, well I'm a miniture clown!