Heidi Arena quotes from Thank God You're Here

Heidi

These products are all good, as the slogan says...

Fifi Box

If you can do it, you can!

Frank

I am Pete. But my friends call me Tom.

Tom.

Heidi

Okay.

Frank

No, you are not my friends yet!

Heidi

Do any of you hold any qualifications for early childhood?

Frank

Oh, yes. I’m qualified to go through early childhood.

Heidi

Now, of course we have to do a police check, ‘cause you will be working with children. Now, who...

Frank

Right. (Drops his giant toothbrush, and walks out of the room, disappearing out the back.)

Heidi

Welcome to Australia’s number one children’s show...

Hey, That's My Hat.

Heidi

And what's our special letter for today?

Today's letter is from Alfred Gurnes.

Heidi

Goodbye to all our friends today, we’ve had so much fun and so much gay.

-ness of us, that is a lifestyle choice, so whether you’re a girl or whether you are boys, come again tomorrow won't you, I… crave?

Heidi

Are you a learner driver?

[holding up an L-plate] Nah, I'm a legend!

[as Michelle, Bob's wife] I feel like we are drifting apart. There's no communication. He's always out with his mates or at home drinking in front of the television.

Heidi Arena

[As a marriage guidance counselor] How do you respond to that, Gary?

Bob Franklin

That's a problem, apparently. Make of that what you will.

Heidi

How would you describe your love life?

Bob

I think it's terrific! It's a shame Michelle isn't involved in it.

Heidi Arena

[As a parent, at a parent-teacher interview] How's Chris doing in school?

[As the teacher] He's doing very good. He's a very bright kid, isn't he?

Heidi Arena

Chris is a girl.

But, he looks like a boy.

Heidi Arena

You've also given her an "A" in French.

Yes, very good. "A" is the highest mark I give.

Heidi Arena

She doesn't do French.

But, when she did, she was an "A".