Thank God You're Here quotes

Can you give me one good reason why this city needs you?

[As "Flashman"] No, not one good reason but, three good reasons. [pause] Maybe just the one would be good though in this instance.

Jerry, you must be very excited because you just opened your new restaurant.

[As a chef] I know and I'm a dentist!

Tell me one domestic cleaning duty you've done since you moved in here.

I emptied the trash on my Macintosh.

You bought us some food but, hot dogs? We're vegetarians!

Well, put some lettuce on it!

For those who haven't seen this show, how would you best describe "A Town in the Valley"?

[looks at audience] Who hasn't seen this show? Get out! I think it's a drama/comedy. We're trying to be dramatic but, we're poor actors.

Heidi Arena

[As a parent, at a parent-teacher interview] How's Chris doing in school?

[As the teacher] He's doing very good. He's a very bright kid, isn't he?

Heidi Arena

Chris is a girl.

But, he looks like a boy.

Heidi Arena

You've also given her an "A" in French.

Yes, very good. "A" is the highest mark I give.

Heidi Arena

She doesn't do French.

But, when she did, she was an "A".

What is going on here?

[As a SWAT officer] Renovation Rescue!

Ken, we here that one lucky punter has walked away with $50,000. How did they manage that?

Hamish Blake

Yeah, I was rapt, I mean, we don't know who it is. Don't know who it was and we don't definitely don't have any inside information so, good on them and no investigation needed.

What will your tactics be for the race?

[As a Jockey] I'll be attempting to go the other way around the track to confuse the other horses.

You don't mind being outranked by a woman, do you?

Angus Sampson

I always prefer them on top.

Angus Sampson

[As a police officer, having burst into a warehouse to catch some criminals] It's scum like you that got The Curiosity Show taken off air.