Ensemble quotes from Thank God You're Here

Come let us be gay

Angus Sampson

Ah, my favourite part of the evening

[referring to Ozzie Phil's pies] They say that they are Australian pies but, where are they made?

Angus Sampson

New Zealand.

It says on the box "Made in Thailand".

Angus

That's Thailand on the north island of New Zealand.

How do you do it with the ladies? What's your secret?

Angus Sampson

Well, first I listen to them. I look at them and then I touch them.

Listen for his opening line that he's famous for.

Angus Sampson

Nice gloves.

What deck are you on, Mr. Higginbottom?

Angus Sampson

The top. Always the top.

Angus Sampson

George used to say to me...

Yes, Mr. Higginbottom?

Angus Sampson

Don't rush me woman.

This was a normal horse, now it's a miniture horse

Akmal Saleh

Yeah, well I'm a miniture clown!

I wanted to go to the toilet, do you know what the waiter said? It's closed for the winter.

Well don't you know if you go when it's to cold it can damage your bits.

The health inspector is here what should I tell him?

Tell him not to pee because it's to cold.

Please state your names.

Sir Michael with the big sword.

Sir Guy of Sebastian.

Hamish Blake

Darren the Nitpicky, and it's an oval table not a round table, I'm a bit dissapointed.

Sir Lady Brian the Boy of Lady.

You are going to fight the enemy territory of...

Mulgrave.

What are you fighting for?

Ah... Brasher's record voucher.

Do you have anything that's low fat?

(Laughs.) You're jokin' aren't ya, um I mean yep yes we do, ahhh we have a straw.

Jerry, you must be very excited because you just opened your new restaurant.

[As a chef] I know and I'm a dentist!

Tell me one domestic cleaning duty you've done since you moved in here.

I emptied the trash on my Macintosh.

You bought us some food but, hot dogs? We're vegetarians!

Well, put some lettuce on it!

For those who haven't seen this show, how would you best describe "A Town in the Valley"?

[looks at audience] Who hasn't seen this show? Get out! I think it's a drama/comedy. We're trying to be dramatic but, we're poor actors.