T.U.F.F. Puppy · Season 1
[as her son handcuffs Bird Brain while Kitty holds him] That'll teach you to mess with my son, he's a big time secret agent. And this is his lazy secretary, Mitzi.
Oh, really, then I shall take a latte and a blitz.
Make that two, Mitz.
Don't hold your breath.
[The four all pose; end of episode]
Dudley, I know you're trying to catch a giant robot, but you have to be more careful.
There's a giant robot? I was just chasing down that ice cream truck. [looks up] Hey, what do you know? There is a giant robot. I bet that thing gets, like, no mileage. [rips off steering wheel] Kitty, take the wheel!
What's the emergency, Chief?
I am entering a bake-off at the county fair. And I need your opinion on these pies.
That's the emergency?
Hey, first prize is a gift certificate to the tiny CD store.
Holy! Now I'm giant! Finally, I can ride the rollercoaster with the big kids! Oh, right, shrink-ray.
Oh, no! Someone's stealing circles of ice! Why?
Yeah, uhh, I'm gonna talk to Agent Katswell now. [to Kitty] Someone's stealing the world's great figure skaters! I need you two to go undercover as skaters and find out who's responsible.
On it, Chief! Kitty and I will figure out who's stealing those ice circles.
Uh, I'll explain to him in the car.
[comes out of the ladies' room, disguised as Tiffany Rose Amber Heather] How do I look, Kitty? I used your razor to shave my legs, and my back, and that guy. [points to a shaved, shivering ape] I may have gotten a little carried away. Here.
[disguised as Vince] You can keep it.
Tiffany Rose Amber Heather, that was amazing! [Kitty throws up] And you threw up. If you're half that good in the finals, you'll take first place.
Oh, thanks, Dorothy! I've dreamed of this day ever since I shaved my legs and that guy with Vince's razor.
[Dudley and Kitty are both tied up to chairs and are in a trophy room with other ice skaters who're all held hostage]
Kitty, my plan worked! The bad guys came after us!
Okay, now what do we do?
That was all I had. You know, you can contribute sometimes.
[A sinister giggle is heard, and Dudley and Kitty see two silhouette bunny figures stepping out of the shadows, revealing themselves to be…]
Wait. Snowflake and Slush? You're the bad guys?!
The old lady must've put them up to it!
No, Tiffany. [walks over to a trophy case as her and Slush's true colors are revealed] You see, Slush and I haven't won a skating competition. Mostly because Slush is dumber than a box hair. And I know. 'Cause I skated with a box of hair. AND IT WAS SMARTER THAN HIM! But then the hair went solo and left me hanging. The only way we could win is to eliminate everyone who's better than us. And with all y'all skaters out of the way, we're the best team left. That means the trophy is ours!
Someone's gonna find us eventually. And when they do, you two and your old lady mastermind are going down!
I know it's gonna find the end of y'all. [takes out a 5-minute timer radish-shaped bomb, cackles evilly and crazily, then coughs; sets the bomb down on the ground and activates it] This bomb is set to go off in five minutes, just enough time for us to win the trophy, and get out of here. Come on, Slush! We got some skating to do.
It's all over, Snowflake! In the name of the Turbo Undercover Fighting Force, you are under arrest!
[drops in, dragging in the innocent old lady turtle] We got the whole team now!
Ma'am, your free to go. I'll explain it to him in the car.
I learned a lot in the car. [makes a goofy, dumb face] I like the car!
I am never taking this off. [smiles]
Guys, Snaptrap gave me this Doomy award for stealing shrimp! [hears a ticking sound, revealing the award is a bomb] Ooh, it's ticking!
[alarmed] RUN!!!
Snaptrap's Coffee?! Snappy Trap's Iced Tea?! Bob's Big Rat?! [view out to a Snaptrap-themed city known as…] SNAPTRAPOLIS?! WHAT DID I DO?!
Agent Katswell, what's the status on Agent Puppy's trip to the vet?
Dudley has a rash, and the doctor put a cone around his neck to keep him from scratching. He's really embarrassed about it, so don't mention it.
We're T.U.F.F. agents. "Discretion" is our… [stutters] middle name. [Dudley appears, wearing a large pink cone around his neck; shocked] HOLY COW! He looks like a snack bowl with paws!
[offended] Keswick!
It's fine, Kitty. I'm okay with the cone. It's kinda awesome. [looks at his reflection, then whimpers and fills up the cone with his tears] WHO AM I KIDDING?! I HATE THIS CONE! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SCRATCH MY RASH?!
[all horrified at Dudley's butt rash; in unison] NO!
My eyes!
Okay, just stand there, and I'll rub my butt up against you.
Keswick, activate the rash shield!
Is someone making a raspberry chocolate bundt cake… [sniffs] With farm fresh eggs from the north shore of New Zealand?
Incredible! That's the exact recipe I got of off Snaptrap's blog! Hey, he may be the leader of D.O.O.M., but he's a wizard with desserts. Check out this recipe for evil fruitcake.
Whoa! According to his blog, Snaptrap has an invisibility helmet.
Even worse, he took down the recipe. Oh, I hope he left his joke of the day.
[rubbing his rashy butt up against a light switch, flickering the lights on and off] If Snaptrap could turn himself invisible, there's no telling what diabolically evil crimes he could commit.
I'm gonna use this invisibility helmet to get into the movies for free! [laughs manically]
[cockney accent] I don't mean to criticize, boss, but why not use the helmet for something a bit more villainous?
Yeah, like sneaking into Petropolis prison and releasing all the most evil inmates.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's T.U.F.F. Puppy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
