Bobby Singer quotes from Supernatural

Dean

The question is why? What does she want with a... what do you call these?

Bobby

Well, congrats, you discovered it, you get to name it.

Dean

"Jefferson Starships." Huh? Because they're horrible, and hard to kill.

Sam

It looks like the whole bar has been turned into these-

Dean

Jefferson Starships.

Sam

Fine. But why are all... the Starships dead?

Bobby

They won't take long.

Castiel

You don't know that. They may find more wayward orphans along the way.

Bobby

Oh, don't get cute.

Castiel

Right. Pardon me for highlighting their crippling and dangerous empathetic response with "sarcasm." It's a bad idea letting them go.

Bobby

Come on. You don't let Sam and Dean Winchester do squat. They do what they gotta, you know that.

Dean

There's one way to draw her out. Me and Sam will go in.

Bobby

Dean!

Dean

Look, if we don't get a shot off you two better.

Bobby

That's the plan?

Dean

Yeah. Pretty much.

Bobby

Well, at least it ain't complicated.

Bobby

Our pal, Cas, didn't stop in last night just to mend fences.

Dean

What did he do?

Bobby

Stole something.

Dean

What?

Bobby

The journal of one Moishe Campbell.

Sam

Moishe?

Bobby

Of the New York Campbells.

Sam

Wha- uh... So we gotta get it back. Right?

Bobby

Or just read the copy I already made. Hi, glad to meet you. Bobby Singer: paranoid bastard.

Dean

Alright so who's this Phillips guy?

Bobby

Phillips ain't his last name. It's Lovecraft.

Sam

H.P. Lovecraft? Let me see that.

Dean

Am I supposed to know who that is?

Sam

Horror writer? "At the Mountains of Madness"? "The Call of Cthulu"?

Dean

Yeah, no I- I was too busy having sex with women.

Sam

What new boss?

Crowley

Castiel, you giraffe.

Bobby

Is your boss?

Crowley

He's everybody's boss! What do you think he's going to do when he finds out we've been conspiring? You do... want to conspire, don't you?

Bobby

No, we want you to just stand there and look pretty.

Dean

If you think I'm leaving you here alone...

Bobby

Hey, what am I, chopped brains on toast?

Bobby Singer - my hero!

Bobby

That's the roofies talking

Bobby

Look, seems to me that Sam's head ain't no different than your leg. People heal on a curve.

Dean

Not diff--?! Bobby, I get this thing off in five days, I'm golden. Sam's not a curve, he's a freakin' time-bomb!

Bobby

It ain't like he's keeping secrets. What you see is what you get, so what's so nuts about calling an upswing?

Dean

Because that's not how it works, Bobby, ever. Alright? Especially not with Sam. The other shoe is gonna drop, it's just a matter of when.

Dean

That's just great. This is stupid. Our quality of life is crap. We got Purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third "The World's Screwed" issue in, what, three years? We've steered the bus away from the cliff twice already.

Sam

Someone's got to do it.

Dean

What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?

Sam

You think the world wants to end?

Dean

I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year that, yeah, the whole enchilada woulda offed itself already.

Bobby

Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture, son. You're gonna hurt your head.

Dean

[talking through a mouthful] Oh, that is good sandwich.

Bobby

What the hell did you get?

Dean

New Pepperjack Turducken' Slammer -- limited time only.

Bobby

Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other. Shouldn't play God like that.

Dean

Hey, don't look at me sideways from that -- that Chinese chicken geezer salad there, okay? This is awesome. Like the perfect storm of your top-three edible birds.

Dean

This is stupid. My sandwich didn't do anything. I don't know what you think you're gonna find.

Bobby

There's something wrong with you, Dean.

Dean

Are you kidding? I'm fine! I -- I actually feel great. The best I've felt in a couple months. Cas? Black goo? I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care. I just want my damn slammer back.

Sam

Dude, you are completely stoned, just like Ranger Rick was.

Bobby

Just like the dinner rush back at Biggerson's. And everybody's loving the Turducken'.

Dean

I think you pissed off my sandwich.

Sam

So you think Dean's okay?

Bobby

Yeah, he's alright

Sam

Good. So... you don't worry about him?

Bobby

You mean before the turducken'?

Sam

Yeah. I kinda mean, well, like ever since my head broke, and we lost Cas. You ever feel like he's going through the same motions but he's not the same Dean, ya know?

Bobby

How could he be?

Bobby

You know, you worry about him. All he does is worry about you. Who's left to live their own life here? The two of you -- aren't you full up just playing Snuffleupagus with the Devil all the live long?

Sam

I don't know, Bobby. Seeing Lucifer's fine with me.

Bobby

Come again?

Sam

Look, I'm not saying it's fun. I mean, to be honest with you, I-I kind of see it as the best-case scenario. I mean...at least all my crazy's under one umbrella, you know?

You were expecting Farrah Fawcett?

Bobby

No, she always calls first.