Bobby Singer quotes from Supernatural

Dean

To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure if we should come.

Bobby

Nonsense. Your daddy needs help.

Dean

Yeah, but last time we saw you, I mean, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot. Cocked the shotgun and everything.

Bobby

Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people.

Bobby

You're bickering like an old married couple.

Dean

No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, uh, Siamese twins.

Sam

[angry] It's conjoined twins.

Dean

See what I mean?

Bobby

So, where's your brother?

Sam

Polling the electorate.

Bobby

What?

Sam

Never mind.

Bobby

So, we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?

Dean

Well, sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweatin' the cholesterol.

Bobby

You sure this is the right place?

Dean

No. But I spent all day canvassing this stupid town with this guy's stupid mug, and supposedly he drinks at this stupid bar...

Dean

Well, you look like Hell warmed over.

Bobby

You try exorcising all night, see how you feel.

Sam

Any survivors, Bobby?

Bobby

Well, the pretty girl and the heavy guy... they'll make it. A lifetime of therapy bills ahead, but still...

Cute piece.

Bobby

Who are you?

Won't stop a demon, if that's what you think.

Bobby

How the hell would you know?

Oh, I don't know...[blackens her eyes] Call it an educated guess.

Bobby

Well, ain't I lucky then? Found a subject for a test fire.

[laughs] Luck had nothing to do with it. But hey, by all means, take your best shot. [Bobby hesitates, Ruby becomes impatient] Ugh...are you gonna stand there like a pantywaist? Or are you gonna shoot-! [Bobby shoots her, she looks down at the wound, then looks back at Bobby] Ouch. This smarts a little.

Bobby

What do you want?

Peace on earth, a new shirt. Now, do you want me to help you out with that gun, or not, hm?

Bobby

Where do you think you're going?

Dean

We've got the knife.

Bobby

And you intend to use it without me. Do I look like a ditchable prom-date to you?

Sam

No, Bobby. Of course not.

Dean

This is about me... and Sam. Okay? This isn't your fight.

Bobby

The hell it isn't! Family don't end with blood, boy!

Dean

Surprise.

Bobby

I, I don't...

Dean

Yeah, me neither. But here I am. [Suddenly, Bobby attacks Dean.] Bobby! Bobby! It's me!

Bobby

My ass!

Dean

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed. You're about the closest thing I have to a father. Bobby. It's me. [Bobby attacks Dean again] I am not a shapeshifter!

Bobby

Then you're a Revenant!

Dean

All right. If I was either, could I do this with a silver knife? [cuts his arm]

Bobby

Dean?

Dean

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Bobby

[Bobby hugs Dean] It's... it's good to see you, boy.

Dean

Yeah, you too.

Bobby

But... how did you bust out?

Dean

I don't know. I just, uh, I just woke up in a pine box...

Dean

I'm not a demon, either, you know.

Bobby

Sorry. Can't be too careful.

Bobby

But... that don't make a lick of sense.

Dean

Yeah. Yeah, you're preachin' to the choir.

Bobby

Dean, your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you've been buried four months. Even if you could slip out of Hell and back into your meat suit...

Dean

I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject.

Bobby

What do you remember?

Dean

Not much. I remember I was a Hellhound's chew toy, and then lights out. Then I come to six feet under. That was it.

Dean

See, this is why I can't get behind God.

Sam

What are you talking about?

Dean

If He doesn't exist, fine. Bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is. There's no rhyme or reason. Just random, horrible, evil. I get it, okay. I can roll with that. But if He is out there, what's wrong with Him? Where the hell is He while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does He live with Himself? You know, why doesn't He help?

Bobby

I ain't touching this one with at 10-foot pole.

Sam

Yeah. How you feeling, by the way?

Dean

Fine.

Bobby

You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary.

Dean

I'm fine. What? You want to go hunt? I'll hunt... I'll kill anything.

Sam

[playfully] Awwww.

Bobby

[equally playful] He's adorable.

Bobby

Go on inside, I want to show you something. [Sam walks in]

Sam

Alright. So, uh, what's the big demon problem?

Bobby

You are. This is for your own good [locks Sam inside the panic room].

Dean

How long is this gonna go on?

Bobby

Here, let me look it up in my demon-detox manual. Oh, wait. No one ever wrote one.

Bobby

[cocks shotgun] Uh-uh, Sam. The only place you're going is back inside with me.

Sam

No.

Bobby

Damn it, boy.

Sam

You won't shoot me, Bobby.

Bobby

Don't test me.

Sam

You won't do it. [walks forward until Bobbby's gun is pressed to his stomach] You can't do it.

Bobby

We're trying to help you, Sam.

Sam

[places one hand on the barrel of the gun and raises it to his heart] Then shoot.