Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip · Season 1, Episode 4
“The West Coast Delay” · Season 1, Episode 4
In this episode: Matt Albie (3), Harriet Hayes (3), Danny Tripp (1), Jordan McDeere (1), Simon Stiles (1), Ron Oswald (1)
You know, where I grew up, if this had happened, there'd be a town meeting, and everybody'd be there. And the guy would have to sit and listen while Reverend Tillinghouse gave a sermon on honesty and character.
That's exactly what would happen where I grew up, except we'd've driven by the guy's house and shot him with a GAT-9.
See, there's more that unites us than divides us.
Things happen around here. People blowing smoke out of their office windows at night?!
Tell me no one is getting high in this building, Danny.
You're shocked that drugs are a part of late night comedy? The Coneheads, Toonces the Driving Cat? You think Belushi and Farley died of Lou Gehrig's disease?
Tell me it's not happening here.
It's not happening here.
[Harriet gives Matt a gift -- a baseball bat which a player had given to her.]
He wrote his phone number on here. You didn't see it?
That's his phone number?
What did you think it was?
I just thought it was his uniform number. You know, they sign their name, and then write the number...
Yeah, they do... do that. You thought his uniform number was 3 billion, 106 million, 786 thousand, 5 hun-- he was asking you out.
The guy hadn't gotten anything on the air in a long time and was scared for his job. We talked to him and in no uncertain terms, he screwed up huge and he knows it. But I'm not gonna end his career over it. Cause I know how he feels. That's why we misled you and told you it was written by the room. People aren't even going for funny anymore, Matt. They're just trying for your respect. Anyway, we told Danny. We'll step down if you want, but we're not giving him up.
Well, now you've got my respect.
Look skipper, if I wanted to make you jealous trust me you'd be jealous.
I am jealous!
Well then, bonus for me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
