Rodney McKay quotes from Stargate Atlantis

You'll think of something.

Dr. McKay

Really? What makes you so sure?

Because you're brilliant.

Dr. McKay

That's true! Doesn't mean I'm going to... wait a minute. What did you say? Why did you say that? What are you sick? Am I sick? What have you heard?!

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Dr. McKay

Neat.

"Neat"?!

Dr. McKay

Yeah well, she caught me off guard, what did you want me to say? What would you have said?

Uh, "Weird."

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[McKay is trying to disengage from a conversation with Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson]

Dr. McKay

We'd better go get our seats.

[McKay and Dr. Keller leave. Tyson and Nye turn to watch them go]

NTNeil Tyson

No way they're dating.

Bill Nye makes a noise of agreement]

Bill Nye

[to Tyson, referring to Dr. Keller] You're married, so...Dibs.

Bill Nye makes an appreciative sound while looking off-screen, obviously at Dr. Keller's butt]

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RReceptionist

I'll just need you both to sign this non-disclosure and confidentiality agreement. [he heaves two thick documents onto the counter in front of McKay and Keller with a "thud"]

Dr. McKay

Oh, you're not serious.

RReceptionist

[sharply] Is there a problem, sir?

Dr. McKay

This whole thing is a confidentiality agreement?!

RReceptionist

[again, sharply] Yes, sir.

Dr. McKay

What could he possibly be doing back there that needs to be kept two hundred pages secret?!

RReceptionist

If you want to go inside, sir, you need to sign the agreement.

Dr. McKay

Dinosaurs?

RReceptionist

Excuse me?

Dr. McKay

Do they have living dinosaurs back there? Because I'll sign this if he's brought dinosaurs back to life, but short of that he's out of his mind if he thinks I'm gonna pretend that whatever discovery he has made is so important and so secret that I have to sign the unabridged works of William Shakespeare here.

Dr. Keller

[holds up her pen, with measured patience] Juuuuuust sign it.

[McKay takes the pen from Keller sheepishly]

Dr. McKay

[to the receptionist] You're lucky the lady's here.

[Dr. Keller looks at McKay, looking somewhat exasperated]

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Dr. McKay

Neil likes to steal things from me – things like women and theoretical physics ideas.

TTyson

Yeah, but who hasn't stolen an idea from the great Rodney McKay?!

Dr. McKay

Oh, so we admit it now!

Bill Nye

See, back in the day whenever any one of these people came up with a new idea or published a new paper, Doctor McKay here would swear that he was already working on something very similar; just hadn't gotten around to publishing it yet.

TTyson

He'd say things like, "I was about to say that very same thing," or "I was just about to have that same idea"!

Dr. McKay

Hey, at least I didn't declassify Pluto from planet status. Way to make all the little kids cry, Neil. That make you feel like a big man?

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[McKay has just told Tunney that he's going to rescue Dr. Keller. As a result, Tunney is going to have to implement McKay's plan for solving the crisis.]

Dr. McKay

Last time I checked, you were claiming to be a genius. I already gave you the plan!

MTMalcolm Tunney

...Plan full of holes!

Dr. McKay

So, fill them!

MTMalcolm Tunney

But what I run into a problem?

Dr. McKay

Then work around it!

MTMalcolm Tunney

[heisitates, then, in a small voice] You're smarter than me.

[pause]

Dr. McKay

I know. [he leaves]

MTMalcolm Tunney

[Yelling after McKay] McKay!

[There is no answer from McKay]

MTMalcolm Tunney

[in a panic, returning to the control console] Gaah! This is outrageous! Just when we need him most, he puts this on me, and I'm supposed to...

Bill Nye grabs Tunney by his lapels, then slaps him across the face]

Bill Nye

Man up!

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Dr. McKay

I suppose it all sounds like science fiction to you.

Detective Sheppard

I'm not really a fan.

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Dr. McKay

I know you'll probably think this sounds ridiculous, but a...little while ago we accidentally opened a rift in space-time. Went through to an alternate version of reality, very similar to ours in many ways. Met a team much like the one I work with, only you were the leader. You were a hero...saved the world several times over.

Detective Sheppard

Doesn't sound much like me.

Dr. McKay

I don't think there's much difference between you and that other John Sheppard I met. It's amazing how one incident can entirely alter the course of your life. Still...I like to believe you have the same strength of character. That's why I told you the truth.

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[While discussing where the Wraith could be located]

He could have abandoned whatever resources he had and just gone into hiding.

Dr. McKay

[sarcastically] Oh yes, he probably got a job as a Klingon at Star Trek: The Experience.

Woolsey

That shut down.

Really? Damn, I wanted to see that.

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Lt. Col: Sheppard

[on radio] Stargate Command, this is Sheppard.

CCCol. Carter

[on radio] Sheppard, where are you?

[on radio] I made it inside. Look, I don't have much time until this place is swarming with Wraith so... I'm arming the nuke.

Dr. McKay

What did he say, nuke?!

CCCol. Carter

[on radio] John-

[on radio] Just do me a favor, when Atlantis shows up... tell 'em I say goodbye.

Dr. McKay

Sheppard, this is McKay! Look, stop what you're doing, NOW!!

McKay?!

Dr. McKay

Yes, it's me! I've got Lorne, I've got Teyla, we're on board the hive!

[confused] What?! But... how?

Dr. McKay

Look, it's a long story, just... Important thing is, if you're about to do what I think you're gonna do, DON'T!

[later they meet up]

You guys are the last people I expected on this ship!

Dr. McKay

Same here.

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WWraith

I restored your life, human, and mended your wound.

Ronon

That was real nice of you...

WWraith

Now you will answer my questions. How many humans are on my ship? [Ronon doesn't answer, the Wraith pushes it's heel into his wound] Where are they?!

[the Wraith is shot by Sheppard]

How you doin', Chewie?

Dr. McKay

[confused] You were dead!

We're gonna be dead unless we get out of here!