Lt. Ford quotes from Stargate Atlantis

[to Steve] Hey man, this isn't supposed to be fun.

Teyla

We do not trade with strangers.

Col. Sumner

Is that a fact?

Maj. Sheppard

Well, we'll just have to get to know each other a little better. I like Ferris wheels, college football, and anything that goes more than 200 miles an hour.

Sir, that's not going to mean anything to them.

Maj. Sheppard

I'm just trying to break the ice here, feel free to jump in at any time.

Gateship One, ready to go.

Maj. Sheppard

Gateship One? A little Puddle Jumper like this?

It's a ship, it goes through a gate. Gateship One!

Maj. Sheppard

Oh, no, no, no, that's all wrong.

Dr. McKay thought it was cool.

Maj. Sheppard

Oh, okay, well, it's official... You don't get to name anything. Ever. [into radio] Flight, this is... Puddle Jumper!

Dr. McKay

This is Flight, I thought we were going with Gateship? [Weir gives him a stern, questioning look]

Maj. Sheppard

Negative, Flight.

Dr. McKay

Stand by. [to Weir] It's a ship, it goes through the gate. I thought... Fine. Puddle Jumper, you are clear to go.

Maj. Sheppard

Roger that. Dial it up, lieutenant.

Did you do that?

Maj. Sheppard

I-I was just wondering where we go from here.

I'll take that as a yes. So how do we find them once we land?

Maj. Sheppard

Well, I've been thinking about that, too.

Maj. Sheppard

Now I'm thinking about a nice turkey sandwich.

Worth a try.

[Smiling] So, we got ourselves a life-signs detector.

Maj. Sheppard

[looks aggravated] We can name it later.

Why'd you close the door?

Dr. McKay

So that when the Stargate shuts down and the forward section is severed, we're not directly exposed to space.

Will it hold?

Dr. McKay

Like a screen door on a submarine. I just prefer hypoxia to explosive decompression. It's a personal thing.

You're mean!

Dr. McKay

Thank you for finally noticing. [gets mad and starts to shake Casta] Oh, you wanna go? You wanna go do you?!

Okay [picks up Casta] You have a real gift with the kids. You do birthday parties?

Dr. McKay

I built an atomic bomb for my grade six Science Fair exhibit.

They let you do that up in Canada?

Dr. McKay

Yeah, then I was questioned by the CIA for six hours.

Maj. Sheppard

But we have something they need and they have something we need, and I thought that's what negotiating was all about.

Dr. Weir

Oh, well, it is. Personally, I stop short of offering nuclear weapons.

They were building 'em anyways.

Dr. Weir

Oh, well if they were building them anyway, why didn't you just say so. You do realise that I originally sent you out for food?

Maj. Sheppard

I think we can still get that.

I don't see why not.

I've never seen so much nothing.

Maj. Sheppard

And I've never walked so far to see it.

Maj. Sheppard

You guys have been dead for years. Now, don't get me wrong, it's really nice seeing you. [points to a middle-aged woman] You too, Miss Watson.

Sir—

Maj. Sheppard

[to Ford] She was my sixth grade teacher. [points to a young blonde] And I don't even remember your name, but I remember you wouldn't even date me!

How could something as big as Atlantis just sink?

Maj. Sheppard

I'm sure the passengers on the Titanic were asking themselves the same question.

Maj. Sheppard

McKay will come up with something.

Dr. McKay

I will try, but despite what you all may think, I am not Superman.

Maj. Sheppard

Was anyone seriously thinking that?

No sir.

Dr. Zelenka

Never.

Dr. Beckett

The dots don't tell us much about who's who. How do we know which one's the Major?

He'll be the dot getting rid of all the other dots.

Anything I see moving is gonna get shot.

Dr. Beckett

[concerned] So what if it's the Major?

Then he'll get hit with a Wraith Stunner instead of a P-90.

Dr. Beckett

What if he sees us first?

He'll probably hear you first.

Dr. Beckett

Are you telling me to shut up again?

Again.