Gen. O'Neill quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Gen. O'Neill

I don't know anything about Atlantis ... except that it was a fairly mediocre Donovan song, not one of my favourites.

Gen. O'Neill

Now, just to be sure we're on the same page, we're against the proliferation of nuclear weapons, right?

Gen. O'Neill

This isn't a long flight, so I'll be as succinct as possible.

Maj. Sheppard

That's pretty succinct.

Gen. O'Neill

Thank you.

Gen. O'Neill

Let me ask you something. [realizes that Sheppard has put on his headset, and therefore cannot hear him; he does the same] Why'd you become a pilot?

Maj. Sheppard

I think people who don't want to fly are crazy.

Gen. O'Neill

Well, I think people who don't want to go through the Stargate are equally as whacked. If you can't give me a yes before we reach McMurdo, I don't even want you.

Dr. McKay

...And we'll need the Zed-P-M.

Gen. O'Neill

What?

The ZPM. He's...he's Canadian.

Gen. O'Neill

(at McKay) I'm sorry.

Dr. McKay

The Zero Point Module, General. The ancient power source you recovered from Proclarush Taonas and that's now powering the outpost defenses. I've since determined it generates its enormous power from vacuum energy derived from a self-contained region of subspace time.

Gen. O'Neill

That was a waste of a perfectly good explanation.

Jack, it's not too late for me to—

Gen. O'Neill

No.

I-I-I could just grab my—

Gen. O'Neill

No.

[quietly] —kay...

Gen. O'Neill

Well, maybe you've got to work yourself back into playing shape… spend a little time doing some short shifts before you jump up to the first line.

Dr. Weir

I'm sorry. I don't know a thing about football.

Gen. O'Neill

Nor hockey, apparently.

You’re just mad you didn’t get to fly the maiden voyage yourself.

Gen. O'Neill

General, I am quite fond of both maidens and voyages. I mean, put the two together and ...

You’re not a test pilot any more, Jack.

Gen. O'Neill

[indignant] That’s what the President said.

Woolsey

That seems like a pretty big ship. You’re sure only sending one Jumper up to fend it off is the right thing to do?

It is impossible for them to harm us.

Gen. O'Neill

I could use some enemies like that.

Woolsey

That sounded like another explosion.

Gen. O'Neill

[calmly] Yes. Yes, it did.

Woolsey

What does that mean?

Gen. O'Neill

[he looks at Woolsey in irritation] Something exploded.

Gen. O'Neill

Is that Dr. Weir I hear?

Dr. Weir

Yes, General, it's good to hear your voice too.

Gen. O'Neill

I didn't say it was good, Elizabeth. Please don't be offended as I express my surprise that Landry would send you on a mission like this.

Dr. Weir

Well, sir, General Landry didn't sanction this mission.

Gen. O'Neill

So am I to assume you're not surrounded by heavily armed SG teams and young, strapping Marines?

Dr. Weir

You've got myself, Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, McKay, and Dr. Beckett.

Gen. O'Neill

[sarcastic] Oh, Dr. Beckett is it? Well, I'm comforted.

Dr. Beckett

[whispering to Weir] What's that supposed to mean?

Talus

What were you doing in the flooded section of the city?

Gen. O'Neill

The backstroke. I think.

Talus

what are you planning?

Gen. O'Neill

Well, I was planning to retire. But man, is that overrated!

Gen. O'Neill

[casually] Whatcha doin'?

Talus

Probing your mind.

Gen. O'Neill

Kinda roomy, ain't it?

Talus

Your ability to resist is quite remarkable General O'Neill.

Gen. O'Neill

Well it isn't the first time I had a hand in my head, as t'were.

Talus

If you do not give me information, perhaps Richard Woolsey will.

Gen. O'Neill

Tell you what...you look around, and I'll tell you if you're getting warmer, or colder.

Talus

Ah, there it is.

Gen. O'Neill

So, hot I guess, huh.

Woolsey

That was the worst thing I've ever experienced.

Gen. O'Neill

It gets worse!

Talus

I'm afraid your plan has been discovered, Colonel Sheppard. It is over.

Woolsey

[defensively] He put his hand in my forehead! How can you resist that?!

Gen. O'Neill

Well, I like to close my eyes and think of England.