Rodney McKay quotes from Stargate Atlantis

Ronon

That's it? That's your superweapon?

McKay

Well, what were you expecting?

Ronon

A big gun? Something that goes boom?

Sheppard

Have you learned any new information yet?

No, not yet. The NID is liaising with CSIS [pronounced see-sis] on the ground. They are expecting us.

Sheppard

C-what now?

McKay

Canadian Security Intelligence Services. They're kind of like your CIA.

Sheppard

[sarcastically] CSIS, that's the best you guys can do, huh?

Jeannie

I can't believe I am betting my life on your sense of direction!

McKay

What are you talking about?! I've got an excellent sense of direction!

Jeannie

Oh, really? Remember when we went to West Edmonton Mall and Dad had to call the police to find you?

McKay

That mall was huge!

Jeannie

There were maps every seven metres!

McKay

Misleading ones!

Jeannie

[about Katie Brown] So, are you gonna marry her?

McKay

I don't know.

Jeannie

You've been dating over a year now.

McKay

[irritated] I'm aware of that, thank you!

Jeannie

You think you're gonna find someone better?

McKay

No, it's not that.

Jeannie

[laughing] 'Cause you're not!

Jeannie

And I'm gonna hold this over your head, for like - forever.

McKay

Oh, that's totally fair.

Jeannie

Like, you're gonna eat a lot of vegetarian food ... and not complain about it.

McKay

Sure, sure.

Jeannie

And you're gonna read Madison three stories instead of her usual two.

McKay

Right.

Jeannie

You're gonna buy me a car.

McKay

Let's not get out of control here...

Jeannie

A nice car. Hybrid.

[excited] Humanity is about to benefit from the world's greatest mind - times two.

McKay

Can you imagine?

I'm trying not to.

McKay

Both ships at the same time. This is a first.

Carter

Well, it's the first time we've needed them.

Carter

[embarrassed] Well, since I've been here...

Colonel.

Colonel.

Colonel.

Colonels.

Colonel.

Lt. Col. Sheppard

Colonels.

Dr. McKay

[grimacing] Seriously?

McKay

Look, you don't know me. This is when I'm at my best. This is when I shine: impossible deadlines! Did I ever tell you about the time I once got a damaged Ancient hyperdrive system online moments before me and my crew were incinerated by a supervolcano?

[sighing and rolling eyes] Yes. You have.

McKay

Ellis is gonna love this. I don't get it. We tried reconfiguring your stand-down code; we tried programming the nanites to turn themselves off. Something should've worked.

They are a very complex and ingenious design.

McKay

Yeah, well, I thought I was ingeniouser.

McKay

Yes, I know it's not a word, Mr. Helpful.

McKay

I mean, it'll take them some time to adapt, to figure out how to function within the new parameters.

Carter

How much time?

McKay

Well, I mean, I hate to speculate.

Sheppard

Oh? Since when?

Zelenka

I must say, Rodney, this is quite an ingenious idea.

McKay

[smug] Were you expecting anything less?

Zelenka

[hesitant] Well...

McKay

Well what?

Zelenka

Well, you have been in a bit of a rut lately.

McKay

[indignant] I have not!

Zelenka

OK, well, like a dry spot, maybe.

McKay

That is not true.

Zelenka

OK...

McKay

It is not!

Zelenka

I'm all yours. What would you like to try now?

McKay

Actually, unencumbered by the continual need to explain things to you, I've actually made remarkable progress.

Zelenka

Oh, really?

McKay

Mmm. [they start walking into the lab] The systems the Ancients had in place were designed to create fully functional humanoid replicants, right?

Zelenka

[suddenly pensive] ...yes.

McKay

Well, turns out that trying to create something much simpler is – ironically – much more difficult. In the end I was forced to compromise.

Zelenka

Wait, you're not suggesting that...

McKay

Ah, I know it wasn't part of the plan but it was either this or nothing.

[smiling warmly at Radek] Hello.

Zelenka

[somewhere between shock, horror, and awe] ...oh, my.

Dr. McKay

[casually] Whole planet will be destroyed in the process.

Larrin

You don't mess around, do you?

This is quite exciting.

McKay

It's a bit nerve-wracking, yeah.

I quite look forward to it.

McKay

...you do?

Yes. One always wishes to achieve one's purpose.

McKay

Right. And you're...okay with this?

Of course. Why would I not be? It's my reason for being.

McKay

Well, you know, you're going to...cease to be.

[matter-of-factly] Yes.

McKay

Well, I just...I just imagined you'd rather keep being than, uh ... uh, than not.

Surely you're not worried for me, Doctor?

McKay

Worried? No, of course not. That would be silly.

Yes. It would.

McKay

Should never have given it speech...