Rodney McKay quotes from Stargate Atlantis

McKay

Anyway... look, I just uh, just came by to uh, welcome you to Atlantis, see how you're setting in and uh, you know, if you needed anything and uh, did I mention I was seeing someone?

Carter

I'm sorry, what?

McKay

I'm uh, seeing someone. Yes I only bring it up now because you're here, now, and we'll be working together a lot more and uh, you know, I just thought with our past...

Carter

Our "past"?

McKay

Well you know, the unrequited lust that's been hanging over our heads for what seems like forever.

Carter

Rodney--

McKay

I just don't want things to be awkward between the two of us, you know, uh... Kind of like they are now.

Carter

Rodney... I'm sure we'll be fine.

Carter

Wow! Is he always like that?

McKay

No! No. No.... Actually you caught him on a good day!

This is it.

McKay

Hurry up!

Ronon

I got it.

Sheppard

This thing's been way too quiet and way too easy.

McKay

I kinda like quiet and easy. Makes for a nice change.

Sheppard

Rodney, get that door open!

McKay

Aw, to hell with it!

McKay

Aw, come on, it worked for him!

Sheppard

I'm gonna recommend sending a science team when we get back.

Dr. McKay

I am a science team.

Sheppard

Looks like one of those toys you play with as a kid.

McKay

Commodore 64?

Ronon

Triple barrel shotgun?

Sheppard

No, a kaleidoscope.

Dr. Keller

[About her dream] It was terrifying. There you were with this disgusting alien bug crawling out of your stomach and Colonel Sheppard was acting as it was the coolest thing he'd ever seen.

Ronon

It sounds like that movie.

Keller

Yeah, Alien. Have you seen it?

Teyla

Colonel Sheppard speaks of it often.

McKay

I remember the first time I saw it. Certainly did not think it was cool.

Sheppard

You know? This really isn't as strange as you made me believe.

McKay

Oh yeah? What about that?!

Sheppard

...I hate clowns.

McKay

No, there's something you're not telling us - she was hot, wasn't she?

Sheppard

I don't know what you're talking about.

McKay

Aw, I knew it. That is so typical.

Sheppard

She had me beat Rodney! She threatened to kill me several times. It wasn't like we were hanging out in the spa together.

McKay

Whatever. All that I know is that every time I get taken captive, it's the Wraith. Just once, I would like to be taken prisoner by the sexy alien.

Sheppard

Well, you may still have a chance.

Ronon

What do you mean?

Sheppard

She's still out there...

Keller

Dr Brown. I see you've brought my number one patient.

McKay

What? Oh, no, we're not here for me this time.

McKay

It started suddenly, and then it just stopped.

Keller

Okay, well, I appreciate you telling me.

McKay

Aren't you gonna do anything?

Keller

To be honest, I don't see how it's relevant.

McKay

Well, it's a new symptom. I thought it just might be important.

Keller

I don't see how a tingling sensation in your knees relates to this condition, especially since you're the only one experiencing it.

Sheppard

You showing any signs?

McKay

Headache.

Sheppard

Yeah, same here.

McKay

Five bucks says you start losing your memories first.

Sheppard

Rodney!

McKay

Well, that's pi, it's 3.14159265 etc, etc... Oh, t-that doesn't count, that's easy.

Teyla

You are a scientist, Rodney, that is what you care about, that is what you will hang on to the longest.

McKay

Right, right, so... [pause] Wait a minute, doesn't that make me a really bad person?

Teyla

It makes you the type of person who is going to save all our lives.

Ronon

[About the Bola Kai] Don't worry. They're primitive. We can handle them.

McKay

Define 'primitive'.

Ronon

Clubs and arrows.

McKay

Hey, arrows can hurt!

Ronon

Only if you're stupid enough to get hit in the ass with one.