Star Trek: Lower Decks quotes

Beckett Mariner

I'm okay. It's just a fracture. [shoves it back into place]

Brad Boimler

Just!?! Ugh, I can't even look at it.

Brad Boimler

You've been Boimed.

But, no, you plugged me into the navigation console. I control this ship!

Brad Boimler

Buddy, we're not even near the nav console. All you control is the dimmer switch.

Son, are you saying the problem is beyond your engineering acumen?

Andy Billups

No, no, okay no. We'll just have to run a full diagnostic from the bottom up.

You can run your full diagnostic along my bottom up, my liege.

Beckett Mariner

You can't even handle mind games from a hundred-year-old router!

Rude!

I've gotta stop Billups from doing the do!

You're too late! My royal guards are trained from birth to skip foreplay.

Where's Billups?! Did his kingdom come?

Andy Billups

Faking your death? Blowing up your own ship? This is a new low, mother.

A meager price to pay to get you on the throne.

Andy Billups

I love Starfleet. Okay, and I don't want to live in a castle with pet dragons and all the mutton I can eat. You need to accept the fact that I'll be a virgin for the rest of my life.

Well, we'll see about that.

Freeman

Shari yn Yem is no longer working for Starfleet. Apparently, she's stepped down because of on the job stress.

Feels good, ruining a jerk's career.

It hurts me to say this, but maybe the bridge crew's jobs are actually harder than we thought.

Nothing makes me hornier than torturing someone. I'm horny all the time.

And being horny always gets me in the mood to torture!

You can lose a whole day to that cycle.

Drills, what a waste of time. I'd even take real work over this, like, fake, pretend work.

I can't believe we didn't even make it out of the space dock.

Freeman

There's not even a numerical score for that. Just 'incomplete'

Oof, somehow, that feels worse.

A remarkable creature. Your design very nearly passes as human.

Boimler

I am human...?

Ew! Well, then you need to drink more water, your skin is a mess. But still, I think I should add your biological distinctiveness to our own. It's kind of our thing.

Boimler

Are you sure? Because I've got hay fever and acid reflux; adding me might result in a net negative for the Collective.

Boimler

[having been assimilated] There is no Boimler. I am Excretus of Borg.

Ransom

They actually think they're gonna be able to handle our jobs?

Freeman

This is gonna be rich.

Alright, Deck 12, follow the yellow line. Move it along, lower decks.