Captain’s Log, Stardate 57436.2. The Cerritos is docked at Douglas Station for routine maintenance and resupply. We will soon set course for the capital planet on the Galar system, where we’re scheduled to make second contact with the Galardonian high council. First Contact is a delicate, high-stakes operation of diplomacy. Once must be ready for anything when humanity is interacting with an alien race for the first time. But we don’t do that. Our specialty is second contact. Still pretty important. We get all the paperwork signed, make sure we’re spelling the name of the planet right, get to know all the good places to eat...
Yeah, no, we’re not really elite. We’re more like the cool, scrappy underdogs of the ship. You know, we don’t wash our hands, we’re doing kick flips all the time.
Ugh, Senior Officers are overrated. They’re always like stressed out and just yelling about directives. It is better down here where the real action is.
I have served on five ships, man. I have seen stuff. One time I got trapped in a sentient cave for weeks. You ever been trapped in a sentient cave? That's a dark place that knows things. I almost got my head taken off a singing crystal. I have been in a Klingon prison where I had to fight a yeti for my own shoes for no reason! He was just being a dick! You've been on what, four planets?
I’ve really got to think of something cool to say when we’re going to warp… something like, “it’s warp time.” What do you think of that? Was that good for you?
Freeze program! In thousands of simulations, that's literally never happened before. [excitedly] Let's try another one, on a ship with even MORE children!
