Beckett Mariner quotes from Star Trek: Lower Decks

Beckett Mariner

Aw, crates!

Brad Boimler

Hold on, what's in them?

Malvus

Limited edition Commander Data bubble bath

Boimler

You sure this isn't a Lore?

Malvus

Meh, a couple might be Lores.

Brad Boimler

Woah. I've never been on a station this old. It's like a whole city.

Beckett Mariner

Yeah, it's great, but it kind of smells like pee sometimes.

Malvus

I should disintegrate you for stranding me on Ceti Alpha IV which, I'll have you know, is much worse than Ceti Alpha V!

Beckett Mariner

I don't strand people!

Brad Boimler

She stranded me on Rubicon III.

Beckett Mariner

You stranded yourself.

Brad Boimler

Pfft. What about on Axelus?

Beckett Mariner

Ok, yeah, I stranded you there.

Malvus

I'll send you the location, but you still owe me.

Beckett Mariner

I owe a foot up your ass!

Beckett Mariner

Okona is in there?!

He's the DJ.

Beckett Mariner

What? He's not even Starfleet! This is outrageous!

D'Vana Tendi

What's anomaly consolidation?

Brad Boimler

You get to go around the ship and collect the bridge crew's research materials from their missions!

Beckett Mariner

It's trash day.

Beckett Mariner

Unbelievable. Boimler's cozying up with those brown-nosers to get out of trash day? Such a great call.

D'Vana Tendi

More trash for the rest of us! I smell adventure.

Beckett Mariner

Boimy's got a phaser rifle! Nice! Now, how are those different from regular phasers?

Brad Boimler

Uh, they take two hands.

Beckett Mariner

Good thing the replicator's still intact. Computer, iced tea, splash of lemonade, cold.

Licorice, dry.

Beckett Mariner

Great. The least nutritious food that tastes the most like poison.

Beckett Mariner

I'm okay. It's just a fracture. [shoves it back into place]

Brad Boimler

Just!?! Ugh, I can't even look at it.

Beckett Mariner

You can't even handle mind games from a hundred-year-old router!

Rude!

Beckett Mariner

The longer I'm off a ship, the more useless I feel! Like that. Like that big dumb red thing.

Beckett, you know that's the Golden Gate Bridge.

Beckett Mariner

Nobody drives anymore! Why do you need a bridge? This planet's whack.

Captain Carol Freeman

[cackling in an echoing voice] I am Minooki!

Ensign Beckett Mariner

[annoyed] Oh boy, we got an ancient mask situation here.

Ensign D'Vana Tendi

A what now?

Ensign Beckett Mariner

This is, like, the third time it's happened. Stop touching masks!

See more where that came from, kid. Just join the Indie Archaeologists Guild.

Beckett Mariner

More like "Space Thieves". Hey, why don't you go in that museum and steal some artifacts? I know you want to.

Oh, right! Because everyone who doesn't salute their boss is a criminal.

Beckett Mariner

You know, lady, if you are really dedicated to the "pursuit of knowledge" then you're kind of limiting yourself by not being in Starfleet, actually.

Ooh, actually, I was in Starfleet. Petra Aberdeen -- graduated the Academy, did a tour in the fleet before wising up and getting out.

Beckett Mariner

Whoa, you served on the Victory? Pfft. Well, you must've screwed up pretty bad to end up here.

Tch, sure! Why leave the big, fancy ships for a life of freedom and nonviolence?

Beckett Mariner

Starfleet isn't violent!

Well, tell that to the Romulans! The Klingons, the Cardassians...

Beckett Mariner

Wha-- They attack us! It's self-defense!

Oh, right! You guys totally aren't a pseudo Navy at all.

Beckett Mariner

Sito was everything I wanted to be. I mean, she made some mistakes, but she rallied. She graduated ahead of me and was stationed on the Enterprise.

The Enterprise? I have heard tales of its triumphs.

Beckett Mariner

Oh, yeah, so did she. And it got her murdered by Cardassians! [tears up] She didn't sign up to be a spy. She... she wanted to explore. She... it destroyed me.