It is a very special day in Bikini Bottom.
[Screen moves from Bikini Bottom Island to Boating School]
I'm ready! [walking up to Mrs. Puff's Boating School with Patrick] I'm ready! I'm ready! Patrick, did you bring my flashcards?
Right here, buddy. [takes them out of his pocket] Everything you need to pass the test is on these cards. [eats the cards] Mmm.
Hey, learning tastes good.
Oh, fiddlesticks. You've taken that driving test more times than anyone.
Well then, 58 is your lucky number. You're gonna pass that driving test, SpongeBob, because you're a winner.
[cheered up a little] I'm a winner.
I'm a winner! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! [runs into the classroom]
1 minute, 37 seconds later... [SpongeBob walks up crying]
How'd you do, winner? [SpongeBob's crying continues] Let's see that license.
I didn't get a license, Patrick.
Are they gonna mail it to ya?
No, Patrick, I failed the boating test. I guess 58 wasn't my lucky number after all.
No way! 58 is, like, the luckiest number ever! The test must be rigged.
AAnnouncer
Congratulations! You are the one millionth person to pass the test.
Does this mean I win a free keychain?
You get a brand-new boat mobile! The new Bass Blaster 3000. The ultimate boating machine. [Patrick runs up to the new boatmobile as SpongeBob's jaw drops]
Women will want you. [all sigh] Men will want to be you. [all faint] You'll be the envy of your friends. [SpongeBob is growling in fury]
Isn't this great? I got my license, and a new boat!
I'm... so... happy for you... ["La Cucaracha" horn blows in his face] Whoa!
[Patrick is driving with SpongeBob when suddenly the green light turns red] It's a red light, Patrick! [Patrick runs through red lights] Patrick, you just ran three red lights!
[shows his license] I think the driving genius knows what he's doing.
[finally snaps] Driving genius?! Would a genius make an illegal U-turn... through an orphanage?!
They ran for it in time. What are you so mad about?
I should've gotten that license! And this should be MY boat mobile!
How can you say that?! If you were my friend, you'd be happy for me getting my license!
If you were my friend, you wouldn't rub your license in my face!
I'm not rubbing my license in your face! This is rubbing my license in your face! [takes out license and rubs it in SpongeBob's face--literally--which makes muffled noises]
[fixes his face and then takes Patrick's license from his hand] Oh, give me that! I worked my whole life for this! You don't deserve this! [tears up Patrick's license and laughs. The pieces of the license fly into the cop's hands]
OOfficer
Huh, litterbugs. This is why I joined the force. [drives off after SpongeBob and Patrick]
SPSpongeBob and Patrick
It's the police!
OOfficer
[over speaker] Pull it over, litterbug!
Litterbug?! No! [drives faster]
OOfficer
Ooh, I got me a runner. [a bunch of police cars follow him]
Patrick, what do you think you're doing?!
I don't know! I don't have a license anymore! [drives around a car]
Look out! [Patrick drives through a sign, then off a cliff into the front lot of the Bikini Bottom Jail]
[After SpongeBob's 90 day sentence, the scene shows the jail as the door buzzes. SpongeBob is let go out of jail where Patrick is waiting for him at the front gate; the camera cuts back and fourth between the two silently staring at each other smiling for about 10 seconds as an orchestra swells dramatically]
I'm glad you passed the test. I'm glad you have a license. And to prove it, I made you this: Pals 4 Ever. [shows him a license plate that reads "PALS 4 EVER"] Let's put it on your boat mobile, buddy.
Oh, I don't have the boat mobile anymore.
It stopped workin' so I threw it away. The needle was on E, and I figured that must mean "end."
Oh, then... what do we do with this? [Patrick takes it and puts it on his behind]
Ready, pal. [hops on Patrick's shoulders and makes car noises] Woo! Woo!
