[After Tim has found a new job in a rival comic shop; Bilbo has come in]
[Sniffy] He should store his special editions behind the counter, not hide them away at the back of the shop. Man's insane.
S2 E2Change
[Stand-offish] What's Derek like as a boss?
[Stand-offish] He's okay. Don't fully agree with his policy on vintage comic display.
[Pause]
[Desperate] Look, Tim, I'm sorry I fired you. It was a mistake! Will you come back?
Oh, why? Things not working out with the new guy?
[Sheepish] You could say that.
[Flash cut to Bilbo's shop]
TSTim's Replacement
Hawk the Slayer's rubbish!
[Bilbo punches him; cut back to the rival comic shop]
[Stand-offish] I see.
Will you come back?
Well, I like it here, Bilbo. What makes you think I want to come back?
This.
[Bilbo produces an answering machine from nowhere and presses play]
[On machine; sobbing] Look, B-Bilbo, t-this is Tim. Please can I come back?! I don't like it here!
[Sheepish] You got that, did you?
I would have come in anyway. The place just isn't the same without you there.
[Warmly] I'm already there.
[Alarmed] What?!
I mean I'll come back.
Oh, right. Frightened me for a moment there.
[Tim wants to get fired from his new job]
Derek? Babylon 5's a big pile of shit.
DDerek
Get out!!
BTBilbo and Tim
[Joyfully] Hooray!
I got me job back.
TMTim and Mike
[Joyfully] Ayyyeee!
I got me own room.
TMTim and Mike
[Joyfully] Ayyyeee!
Where's Brian?
He's standing in the garden with no clothes on.
TMTim and Mike
[Joyfully] Ayyyeee!
S2 E3Mettle
DDexter
Have you thought any more about that rematch, Michael?
Yes and no.
DDexter
What does that mean?
It means 'yes, he's thought about it' and 'no, he doesn't want one'. [To Mike] Doesn't it?
Yes.
DDexter
So that's a 'no', is it?
Tim and Mike: [Momentarily uncertain] ... Yes.
What does "T.F.U" stand for?
Uh... The Fuckest Upest.
[Daisy pretending to be Philippa Forrester to interview Tim]
This is a very large machine Tim. Take you long?
No, not really.
Hm, fast worker?
Well why don't you come on back to my flat and we'll find out.
I think you've already answered my question [laughs].
So you like my robot then.
I love it. [gasp] What's this?
It's an axe. Feel the weight.
[Daisy lifts the axe. Both draw in a breath.]
There's nothing more devastating than a big chopper.
Shhh...[places a finger over Daisy's lips] Don't cheapen this. [moves the hair from her face]
[Daisy and Tim move closer, apparently about to kiss, when Mike opens the front door.]
[suspicious] What's going on?
Uh, I was just coming - to the pub, with you.
Yeah, I think we should take the Private down to the shed.
[Mike goes to another room.]
Hmm, what's up with Mike?
Nothing, he just, he usually likes to be Philippa.
[Talking about the robot's axe, both covered in plasters and bruises]
I think we should lose the axe.
I like the axe.
I like my face.
I like your face.
Let's keep the axe.
[Trying to figure out who destroyed 'Private Iron']
I think I can guess.
This isn't the work of amateurs, Tim. Private Iron was taken apart by someone who knew what they were doing.
Right, and what happens now?
Well, if we can't fix him in time, we're automatically disqualified. Runners-up go through.
And they are?
[Gasps, as if realizing] Dexter and Cromwell!
Right.
... So who did this?
They did!
[After having smashed Tim and Mike's robot]
DDexter
Ah, Michael. Heard about your robot. Crying shame.
What do you mean, 'crying shame'? You did it, you... fucking plum.
RCRobot Club Leader
Gentlemen, welcome to Robot Club. The first rule of Robot Club is, you do not talk about about Robot Club. The second rule of Robot Club is, YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT Ro… wait, I… got that wrong. [Unfolding a crumpled up piece of paper and pushing up his glasses] The second rule is, no smoking.
Why aren't we allowed to smoke?
We're not allowed to talk about it.
S2 E4Help
Could you go and tell Mike that I need him, please?
What for?
No reason, I just... I need him.
[To Mike working out with Marsha] Tim wants you.
Does he want me or need me?
Needs you.
Ok then.
You ready, Mike?
I was born ready, Timmy.
Yeah, but are you ready now?
Ummm... yeah.
[After Sophie has recovered Tim's unflattering portrait of Damien Knox, thus saving his job interview]
How are you, Sophie?
SSophie
Fine thanks.
[Playing it cool] Good. Forgot you worked here.
SSophie
Really? [Places down another, extremely flattering, portrait of Sophie, surrounded by a love heart]
[Tim giggles nervously]
[Via walkie-talkie] Tim! That girl you fancy's coming into the office!
[Into walkie-talkie, sheepishly] Thanks, Mike.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Spaced pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.