Do you guys have any idea what I'm saying?! Half the cells in our bodies aren't human! Right now there are alive creatures on your eyelashes and in your teeth!
So?
So?! Right now, that straw has a bunch of little bugs and they're trickling in your mouth and mixing with millions of other little bugs that are alive inside you! You aren't even totally you!
Dude, Kyle, why are you talking about all this?
Okay, guys, listen. My mom had a fecal transplant.
[spits his soda out and laughs] Fecal transplant!
Hi, Kyle. I'm Harriet, Henrietta and Bradley's mommy. I've been looking all over town for you.
Why?
Well, I went to the video game store and I bought this. [reaches into her purse and pulls out a video game] "Jedi: Fallen Order." It's getting great reviews. Thought you might want it.
Whaaat?
Yeah, he wants it.
Great. Could you do just one little thing for me, Kyle?
[muffled] Yeah. He'll do anything.
When you get back home, could you find a way to get a little of your mom's poop, and put it in this jar?
What?! EW! NO!
Yes!
I don't need much. I'm sure you can find a way to sneak it from her. You do that and the game is all yours.
That is disgusting. Absolutely not!
Kyle!
Oh, well, think about it. The offer stands. I heard you can customize your own lightsaber.
What is your problem?!
What is MY problem?! I'm not gonna go steal my mom's shit!
Dude, you realize we won't get that game 'til Christmas. We could be paying with it tomorrow.
[muffled] TO-MORROW!
I said, NO, and that's final!
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