Dr. Gauche and Sgt. Yates in “Turd Burglars”

We have a major epidemic here, Detective. C. diff has spread to half the town. We don't have enough staff or enough to supplies to keep up with it.

How did this happen?

Apparently, the outbreak started at a restaurant when some women got sick on everybody. The women contracted C. diff. by giving themselves DIY fecal transplants.

So they got sick from another woman's feces?

No, they got sick from using this, [holds up a turkey baster] a common household turkey baster. It's a thing most people use just once a year, around Thanksgiving. The rest of the year it just sits in a drawer collecting bacteria, and then the ladies went and stuck it up their asses.

Oh, those ladies!

It gets worse. We're completely out of healthy donor feces. Even if we found a donor at this point, it wouldn't be enough to give everyone transplants.

So what happens next?

With how contagious C. diff is and how deadly, half of South Park is going to die.

Jesus... what have those rascally ladies done? [walks off]