“Okay, kids, lets take our seats. There has...” – Mr. Garrison, South Park ... TV Quotes Database

[Mr. Garrison enters the Fourth Grade classroom with a box of books]

Okay, kids, lets take our seats. There has been a change in school policy, and so I'm assigning you all a book to read.

Aw, a book? God, I hate those.

Now kids, this book is very controversial, and has just been taken off the banned books list.

Oh, really? Sweet.

It's called "Catcher in the Rye", and it has some very risque parts...

[excited] All right!

[Mr. Garrison starts handing copies out to the students]

And strong vulgar language...

[muffled] Awesome, dude!

And in fact many schools across the country still ban this book, because it's thought to be so inappropriate.

[starts reading excitedly] Oh, man, I can't wait!

Tonight I want you to read chapters 1 through 5, and tomorrow we'll discuss the...

No, no, come on let's read it now!

Mr. Garrison, didn't the guy who shot John Lennon say it was because of this book?

[irritated] Yes, apparently John Lennon's killer said he was inspired by "Catcher in the Rye", but he was just a kook

Whoa! You're telling us this book is filthy, inappropriate AND made a guy shoot the King of Hippies? Can we PLEASE read this, RIGHT NOW?

[angry] You will read it at home, and you will all be mature about it's adult themes and language!

[The class groan in unison]

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