[After Butters' book influences a lunatic to murder the Kardashians] Our nation is still reeling from the tragic deaths of the Kardashians. The shooter claims he was driven to commit the slaughter immediately after reading "The Poop that took a Pee" by Leopold "Butters" Stotch. It's all over; the Kardashians wiped out in the blink of an eye, all because one little PRICK had to go and write a book! [Butters is at his desk with his face buried in his arms, The news report is airing on the TV in the background] Leopold Stotch… I hope they BURY you! YOU EVIL FUCK!
[Stan and his friends enter Butters' room]
Dude, people are pissed off at you, Butters.
I know.
They're saying they're gonna ban both your books now, completely. You're not making any more money!
[lifts his head up, crying] You think I care about that?! My writing got the most beautiful woman in the world killed! I loved her! And if she died it was because of me!
Ah... Oh Butters, [steps forward] it'll be all right. Listen, we've all learned that people look for meaning in books. And sometimes, even if it isn't there, they'll try and invent their own meaning.
Yeah, dude, eh, that's why we all need to avoid books and stick to television.
Thang, thanks, fellas. I'll definitely never write again. I think I can get over this.
That's good, Butters, because, we need to tell you something.
What?
[sighs heavily] You were sleepwalking again, and dressed Sarah Jessica Parker up in a moose suit. You left her in the forest and she got shot by a hunter.
[shocked] What?! Oh no!
Yep, sorry. You're gonna have to come down and admit it was you. [walks out of the room with the other boys]
Aw. Aw I got her killed too?? Aw uh, oh well, at least she was ugly. [leaves his desk and follows the other boys downstairs]
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